Daniels Family Update

The Quarterly Adventure

2009-02-21T12:31:00.000-08:00

If you've been wondering about the outcome of Biz's three month checkup, I apologize for the delay in reporting. The short version is: everything looks fine, no evidence of recurrent or residual cancer. The long version is a bit more complicated. Allow me to expand for the sake of your understanding.
Each time Biz goes in for a check up they do two types of scans, an MRI and a PET. The PET scan is newer technology, perhaps 6-10 years old. It involves injecting a radioactive "tracer" isotope into the blood stream to locate tumors. The tracer isotope has been attached to a mixture of glucose (sugar) and, apparently tumors LOVE sugar (tell me what effect that will have on your diet)! So, the sugar settles into places where rapidly dividing cells can be found (of which cancer cells are a type). Then the patient is passed through a CT/X-Ray scan machine to find "hot spots," that is, places with high concentrations of the tracer isotope and in so doing they locate tumors. This is obviously a simplistic overview, but at least you get the point. The other scan, the MRI is the old stalwart (relatively speaking). It basically detects tissue growth and densities and using an X-Ray type of picture shows what is going on inside the body.
During Biz's first quarterly checkup the PET scan showed a "hot spot" around the orbit of her left eye. This is the area of concern--the area where she had her surgery and radiation. Normally this would be interpreted as a bad sign except that, in Biz's case, the MRI gave no corroborating evidence of abnormal tissue growth. Because the potential for harm associated with any further investigation (e.g. biopsy) was so great, the tumor board at the University of Washington recommended that we do nothing and revisit the issue after another three months.
Last week we "revisited" the matter and after the two scans were completed they showed no change--PET shows "hot spot" and MRI says "no." Because the PET is so new and Biz's tumor was so rare, the doctors are not quite sure how to interpret it. However, the fact that it is an unchanged repeat of the previous scan, and because Biz has chronic inflammation in that area, our doctors have said this is a good sign. It may be nothing more than the healing process. I'm praying that God is actually repairing all the tissue that was damaged during radiation.
Honestly, we'd rather have the doctors tell us that neither test gives any cause for concern, but the Lord knows what we need. It may be that we need continued impetus to prayer; it may be that the doctors need a reason to remain vigilant in their oversight. But the doctors tell us this is a good report, and the Lord tells us that he works all things together for the good of those who love him. So, with those words we are rejoicing at the outcome, and we are thankful for your continued prayers.

Overdue Update

2009-01-31T21:41:00.000-08:00

If you're still checking our blog, hoping for an update, here's the latest news. We spent a relaxing, family Christmas at home this year--quite a bit colder than our Christmas in Houston. Despite the cold and snow, we were very glad to be healthy and home. Lydia and Biz are now both at Friday Harbor High School, doing well and enjoying it. Connor and Sam spend their days homeschooling with Debbie (though they prefer recess over any other subject). We give thanks for the routine of life these days.Biz has her next three month check-up February 17-18. As always, we appreciate your prayers. Her first three month appointment in November went well, and we don't expect this one to be any different. Biz is feeling great and spending as many hours as she can each week with her new horse, Brookie, thanks to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. We'll be sure to update the blog after we hear the results of her appointments. Thank you to all of you who continue to pray and call to check on Biz and our family. I posted our family's most recent picture (taken last week at church) for those of you who asked:), and a couple of Biz and Brookie.

Hair

2008-07-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

My hair is growing back! As of Wednesday I stopped shaving my head because Biz is done with chemotherapy and she and Deb are home. A summary of Biz's chemo experience was captured in the words of a friend who said, "for such a tiny, little girl I don't think I've met anyone tougher."
Deb and Biz arrived home on Tuesday, earlier than expected (while we were in the middle of house cleaning). Biz and I made a brief return trip to Children's Hospital on Thursday for an infusion of platelettes, but aside from that everything seems to be going according to plan. We'll all be glad when Lydia gets home from her missions trip and we can be together again as a family (and maybe get some vacation time).
My hair's off to Biz, to Deb, and to anyone else who reads this and has gone through such an experience. To the rest, I say: Grow close to Jesus Christ. Your time of testing will come, and you want to be as prepared as possible. You need a reservoir of trust in his love, sovereignty, wisdom, and goodness. These are not things you want to learn in the process, and everyone will go through such times.
Thanks to everyone who has kept up with the blog and prayed, to all those who sent hats and other items of encouragement, to all those who cooked meals for me and the other kids, and to all those who filled in where I was unable. The Lord used you in answer to our prayers for strength and comfort.

Biz is done...sort of

2008-07-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

Biz has officially completed her final round of chemotherapy!!! She and Deb met with the Dr. Johnson today and Dr. Johnson said Biz could continue if she wanted to, but there's no evidence that 6 rounds are better than 4 and the typical trimodal treatment process (surgery, radiation, chemotherapy) includes 2 to 4 rounds of chemo. She also said Biz's input was important, and Biz's input was "I'm done." So we're done. Sort of. We still have to wait for her blood cell count to come up. And, she'll need another biopsy, a kidney test, a hearing test, an MRI, and a CT scan--among other things. These will all be done after a week or two and then we'll settle into the routine of regular check-ups and scans. But that's small stuff, comparatively speaking. For tonight, Deb and Biz are thinking of something they can do to celebrate.
Praise the Lord.

Where's that finish line?

2008-07-07T23:05:00.001-07:00

All of me wants to have typed "Biz is done with chemo" on Sunday, but we've had an anticlimactic end--we hope--with the lingering prospects. Oh well, we'll celebrate eventually, and we'll find out more in a couple of days. In the meantime, Biz and Deb are at the Silverstein's house in Seattle and Biz feels well. She and Deb met with an eye surgeon today about some reconstructive issues and they were really encouraged. Nobody wants more hospital time, least of all Biz, but we're glad to hear about the options. We'll see where things head from here. Needless to say, even post-chemo is not simple--but it's better. Thank you, Lord, for care and strength and guidance and perseverence.

Another who needs the Lord

2008-07-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

Children's Hospital is both the most wonderful and the most terrible place to be--wonderful because of the care one receives and terrible because of the sad struggles that many families are facing. Deb called and asked us to pray for Sherrice and her little baby, Felix. Deb and Biz met them during Biz's second round of chemo. While the hematology/oncology wing is being upgraded, patients must share a room. Biz shared one with Felix, a 4 month old whose liver had stopped working. At the time they met, Felix was crying constantly from pain and his stomach was distended. Today (6 weeks later) he's in ICU on life support. The doctors cannot figure out what's happening. Sherrice just had a meeting with the doctors to "discuss her options." Without a miracle, Felix doesn't look like he's going to make it.
Sherrice, a mother of two, is 19 years old and alone in this. She has no husband to help shoulder the load. Please pray that she would have a relationship with the Living God through Jesus Christ. He can save her and he can help her. He can also save Felix, because what is needed is a miracle. It's times like this that we're reminded that we are dependent upon the Lord. Doctors are wonderful, but they are not God. Sherrice and Felix, like Biz and the rest of the Daniels, need the Lord.

Final Round?

2008-07-02T20:26:00.000-07:00

Some rather disconcerting news, about which we seek your prayers: today Deb and Biz met with a nurse practitioner because Dr. Johnson was away on vacation. The nurse practitioner was under the impression, because of an earlier conversation with Dr. Johnson, that there will be yet another round of chemo after this one.
Obviously, this is not what Biz (or any of us) wants. As it says in Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." The longing is to be done with it all. On the other hand, we want to be certain that Biz receives all the treatment that she needs. Better one more round now than many later. Please pray for our and the doctor's wisdom in this matter. Our greatest wish is that it be just a misunderstanding on the NP's part.
So, Biz has begun round 4 (hopefully the last) and needs your prayers. Please pray for (actually against) her nausea and any other harmful effects. So far she's doing great--all tests have been excellent. She's also been very upbeat, if not a little too active. The Lord is good, so he's good to Biz. We'll wait and see what's in his plan.

Loss and Freedom

2008-06-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

Biz and I had to return to Children's Hospital yesterday for an infusion of two units of red blood cells. She and Deb were allowed to return home on Tuesday, a little earlier than expected, with the caveat that Biz have daily blood tests at the island clinic. Their concern was that her counts were borderline, and they wanted to see improvement, which unfortunately never came. So on Friday we made the trip (Deb stayed home) back to Seattle for needed care. Today, Biz is at the ranch and doing fine. Praise the Lord for his goodness.
One thing that made the trip especially disappointing was that her cousins (Deb's sister and her family) had just arrived Thursday night and she didn't want to miss time with them. One thing about illness and treatment is that it's full of sacrifice and loss--like it or not. So today the three girls all went to the ranch together, which I'm sure will be a highlight for all of them.
Lydia arrived safely at "The Lord's Boot Camp" in Florida to prepare for her missions trip to Malawi. When Deb and Biz are gone that makes the house noticeably empty--three guys, that's all. Since Deb and Biz will begin the final round on July 2nd, the boys and I made our Fourth of July plans. We're going to camp on the boat in Fisherman's Bay to watch the Lopez fireworks. And we're going to celebrate the fact that we live in the greatest country on earth, where the research and treatment that Biz needed flourish because of the power of freedom in industry and optimism in human endeavor that pervades our society.

Three girls, three burdens

2008-06-20T07:30:00.001-07:00

Biz handled this round of chemo just about as well as possible. She was really nauseous at discharge time, so the nurse told her that if she got sick she'd have to stay. By sheer determination Biz held it in until they were discharged and reached the parking lot. Good thing she told Deb to bring a bucket. Beyond that, she has been eating well and feeling well.
Biz has been able to take riding lessons at a nearby ranch about twice a week, too. We all (Tim, Deb, Lydia, Connor, and Sam) were able to watch one of her lessons the other day because we're all in Seattle to see Lydia off. At 10:30 this morning Lydia will board an AirTran flight to Florida and Teen Missions, Int., with whom she will spend a good part of the summer in Africa. We're really proud of Lydia because she has the desire to serve Christ in this way and because she had to make most of her preparations without the help of mom. Once in Malawi, she will be with a team of kids who will share the gospel in local villages using music, drama, and puppets. They will also be showing the Jesus film in the evenings and working at one of Teen Missions' AIDS Orphanages. It sounds like a tall order. Please pray for the success of Lydia's travels and ministry. Please pray for all of my girls. They all have big items on their plates.

Yeah!!!

2008-06-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

The biopsy found no evidence of cancer!
Neither did the PET scan.

Biz said, "Great, let's go home now."
The doctor said, "Sorry, this cycle and one more."
I say, "Four cycles are better than six."

Jesus, thank you for taking away Biz's cancer. Please keep her healthy and help her to weather the next couple of chemo cycles with as little discomfort as possible. We love you. Amen.

Round 3

2008-06-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, Deb and Biz flew out of Friday Harbor at 7:30am for a 9:00am kidney test (5 hours long). On Wednesday, Biz will have another hearing test and a PET scan. All of this is being done to assess the effects, both positive and negative, of her chemotherapy so far. Assuming they find nothing unexpected, Biz will begin her 3rd round of chemotherapy on Thursday. It's hard to imagine how poorly it can make her feel, especially if you've seen her upbeat and happy spirit over the past few days at home. Please pray that she will feel well and that the chemotherapy will be effective.
We still have not heard back about the biopsy they took on the 5th. While we trust the Lord with whatever we hear, we expect good news.

2008-06-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

Deb and Biz will fly home tonight, after Biz's biopsy, for a few days' "visit." Please keep the biopsy in your prayers today. Tomorrow pray that their stay at home would be encouraging and refreshing. Some ladies from our church hired a lady to clean our house to facilitate this...I've decided not to take this as an offense...She came this morning, and the place looks great for my girls' return.
One thing Deb and Biz plan on doing before the biopsy is hunting down Sean, Sara, and Eva Parsons. Her bacterial infection has taken them down to Children's Hospital as well. Please keep them in your prayers.
Another Calvin & Hobbes:

The Process

2008-06-03T13:54:00.000-07:00

Right now we are praying and waiting for Biz's ANC count to reach 500. It's a bit technical (for me) but suffice it to say that's the blood count number that allows her to come home. Physically she feels fine (all praise to Jesus). That makes the waiting a bit surreal--I feel well so why can't I go home? Whenever she and Deb do get here it will only be for a short visit since Biz has kidney and audiology tests on the 10th and they can't leave until after the 5th. That's the day on which Biz has her second biopsy.
The results of the biopsy are CRUCIAL. Not only do they determine the number of treatments ahead (if it's clean, she'll have two more treatment cycles; if not, she'll have four), they will also be an indicator of the effectiveness of treatment thus far. For obvious reasons, we ask you to pray for a clean biopsy.
We can do nothing but trust the Lord in this.
As you pray for us, please also pray for Sean and Sara Parsons (members of Islands Community Church) and their little girl Ava. She's about 6 months old and has a "mystery illness" (that is, a mystery to everyone but Lord). It has been very serious and dangerous, so far. The island is a beautiful place to live, but its limitations are most evident at times like this. Please pray for their spirits as they weather this trial and for an accurate diagnosis and speedy recovery. Lord, please give Sean and Sara wisdom and direction as they seek care for their daughter and please protect Ava through this process.
Biz and I share an affinity for Calvin & Hobbes. (Click on it to enlarge).

Everyday (and another Hat Award)

2008-05-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I asked Biz how she was feeling. She said, "I feel good now, but it just comes and goes." That's everyday--for at least the first week after treatment. Nevertheless, Biz's spirits are up and you can see the "fight" in her. I ran into Kris Phillips at the grocery store yesterday and she remarked about how encouraged she was by Biz's sense of humor (they had spoken earlier in the day).
At this point Biz's blood cell count will start to decline. Though the nausea is subsiding (yeah!), any sickness for the next week or so is serious. I thank the Lord that we don't also have to fight a deflated spirit.

On a lighter note, hats continue to come in. Such variety--some make Deb jealous, some make Lydia jealous. Here's one that made Connor jealous. I'm giving it the "3:10 to Yuma" Award. You'll notice our model's resemblance to Russel Crowe! (This is a pre-head shaving photo). The award for this fine head covering goes to Don and B.J. Craddock of Cape San Juan.

Good night, prayers answered (and still needed)

2008-05-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you for praying; Biz is feeling much better! She slept all day yesterday and most of the night, only waking up because she was hungry. She ate two bowls of chicken noodle soup and some string cheese. Deb thinks the biggest problem was that Biz was over-medicated with anti-nausea drugs (she couldn't even remember yesterday when she woke up!). During the day yesterday Deb began to "interfere" a bit with the medications (anti-nausea, not chemo), knowing how poorly Biz did when they gave her morphine after surgery. She asked the nurses if they could start with half-doses and see where that led. There was a marked improvement after that and, except for a short time this morning (just before her next dose), Biz has been feeling well. If she continues to feel well, they'll discharge her tonight.
Then we begin to pray for her blood counts and safety from infection.

Rough night, prayer needed

2008-05-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last night was a rough night for Biz. The chemo makes her pretty sick and the anti-nausea medication wasn't very effective. I just talked to Deb and she said Biz is sleeping and feeling a little better, but Deb sure covets everyone's prayers for our daughter's well-being and strength.

Round Two

2008-05-22T09:54:00.000-07:00

Biz's second round of chemotherapy begins today. Please pray for its effectiveness, for Biz's optimism and strength, and please pray against nausea or potential illnesses from her depleted blood counts. It will also help if you will pray for Deb's wisdom and spirit as she supports Biz through it, and for the rest of us as we're apart.

In pursuit of victory, players in the National Hockey League have a "good luck" tradition not to shave during the playoffs. In the same spirit of optimism, I (Tim) have adopted a new look for the remainder of Biz's chemo treatments--in pursuit of victory:

This was a challenge for me, as my scalp has never seen the light of day. The bright white skin makes my head look like a light bulb and will until it "tans-up" a bit. It was also a challenge for Sam, who tried to talk me out of it (Connor ran the clippers) and was too embarrassed to go into the grocery store with me afterward. Just when I was beginning to think I had made a mistake one of the kids on Sam's Little League team (we had a game yesterday) gave me the encouragement I needed: "Coach, you look good bald." Thanks, Julian.

Later that evening, a group of guys who all want to be a part of Biz's support team heading into this "playoff round" met at the Posenjak's house and you can see the results. This was one of the most entertaining nights I've spent in a long time:
Kirk and Peter Holt.

Brian Lambright

Brandon, Ryan, and Adam Allen (father David was also "groomed" but I don't have a photo. I know that Dave will be disappointed).

Bryan and Dylan Posenjak

Oh, and one more, Mom:

The final results looked like this:

Family Effort Award

2008-05-19T12:19:00.000-07:00

The Patton family, friends of ours from St. Louis, sent this picture along with a box containing the same hats. Each hat was chosen by its respective wearer. From left to right we have Alison (8) wearing a newsboys cap--very cool! Then there's Emma (6) wearing a hand-knitted fuzzy, baby blue and pink hat--very warm, and very feminine. Megan (3) sports the hot-pink fishing hat--essential attire for an islander. And last, but certainly not least, Julie (2) with a crocheted ball cap--just look at that enthusiasm! Hat selection tells you a lot about the personality of each one.
For their remarkable showing, we are awarding to the Pattons the "Family Effort" award. Congratulations, Pattons! That will sit nicely on your resume someday.

The First Hat Award

2008-05-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

The hats are trickling in, so it's time to give out the first hat award. Today's honors go to the Holt family of Friday Harbor, WA, for...well...the first hat. This hounds tooth beauty, with leather brim and brass buckle, is intended to be accessorized with large, "J-Lo" sunglasses and hoop earrings. That's what I've been told.

Blessing Us Behind the Scenes

2008-05-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Sam's birthday, and it was not forgotten. Even as Deb and Biz were traveling, Kris Phillips was preparing Sam's favorite meal--hot wings with extra hot sauce--and Koshi Holt was making this cake! Koshi, who tends to be a bit of a perfectionist, apologized. "Sorry, I messed up. I'm not a professional." We all tried in vain to find the mess up. I think it was the best decorated cake that's ever been served in our house, and it was delicious, too. By the way, the hat and ball were made of licorice strings.
Actually, I wanted to post this picture as an illustration of just how well we've been cared for by our friends. Koshi has enlisted a dinner brigade to feed us while Deb and Biz are away. It is truly an "extra mile" brigade...the meals show up at dinner time, hot! This time of year, with two boys on separate Little League teams, we have had some very strange dinner hours (e.g. 4:00pm; 8:30pm). But that has deterred no one.
I thank the Lord each night for those who have made the burden lighter. When you remember to pray for us, please remember to ask the Lord to bless them, too.

500!

2008-05-13T11:25:00.000-07:00

The doctor said Deb and Biz could come home if her white blood cell count was at least 500, but didn't expect that it would be. After plenty of prayer, Biz's count hit 500--exactly. So they are now en route, and we are feverishly cleaning the house. Happy birthday, Sam!
We can't wait to see them.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

2008-05-11T18:16:00.001-07:00

Concerning Sam

2008-05-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Tuesday will be Sam's 9th birthday. That's also the day when they next check Biz's white blood cell count. If her count is above 500, she and Deb get to come home, which would be an answer not only to Biz's and Deb's prayers, but also to Sam's. Dr. Johnson is not optimistic about that prospect, but we'd sure appreciate it if you would pray with us toward that end.
Since Deb checks the blog from Seattle, I think I'll include some pictures to help her remember the rest of us. Here's Sam at 2nd base.
And here he is...well...after his sisters got done with him.

Times when you can eat what you want

2008-05-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

Deb thinks they've found the medication that works. Biz was able to eat some ham and about a half a jar of pickles! Hearing this brought back memories of running out to Steak n' Shake at midnight (several times) because my pregnant wife had a taste for one of their chocolate shakes and some french fries. When they haven't eaten all day you just don't argue with the menu selection.

Sick and Tired

2008-05-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

Connor, Sam, and I returned this morning from a 24 hour visit with Deb and Biz. They're staying for a few days with the Kazens, who have a beautiful spot right on Lake Washington--with a dock. Sam was lamenting that we "forgot" our swimsuits. I felt just terrible about that...what with the temperatures hovering around the upper-fifties. It's odd that the girls didn't ask me to bring theirs.
Biz is really feeling lousy and Deb is feeling "mother-watching-child-suffer" stress. The pharmacist at Children's Hospital armed them with six different anti-nausea medications and their job is--by trial and error--to find out which one works for Biz. A friend who went through this herself said that when they get it figured out, it may work for a while and then change to another. So Biz has become a walking science experiment, and when she can least stand it, but it's what must be done. The nausea must subside to the point that she can keep her food down or they'll have to insert a feeding tube and give her IV fluids. Biz, like her mother, is not fond of medications. She said these ones make her feel strange, which is apparently a condition worse than nauseous. I think I'd have a more pragmatic (Deb would say, wimpy) approach: "Just give me one of each and something in there will do the trick. Oh, and what's my name?"
If you've ever felt so nauseous that the thought of food makes you sick, you know how to pray for Biz. If you ever watched your child suffer when there was nothing you could do about it, you'll know how to pray for Deb.

Disappointment...

2008-05-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

The first day of chemotherapy went well. When I talked to them, Biz was feeling just fine. I know the effects of chemotherapy are cumulative, but it was reassuring to know that she started out well. The process of applying the medicine takes three days--Biz gets the three medicines for about 5 hours followed by several more hours of IV fluids just to flush it out of her kidneys. They will be done with this first round by 9:00pm Sunday.
Their greatest disappointment came when they were able to take a walk after Biz's chemo. They came out to a courtyard that we had never found before. It had a gate that opened onto a small street and, they could hear the familiar sound of the obnoxious tune blaring from the truck of THE ICE CREAM MAN! Deb grabbed some money and, while Biz waited at the gate, ran to flag down the ice cream man. Never mind that the hospital will give Biz all the ice cream she wants, there is something different about a Good Humor bar straight from the truck. But it was not to be. The truck had passed and was on its way to other expectant children (and child-like adults). My prayer is that this would be their greatest disappointment in the entire regimen.
Now they have a mission. They plan to wait at the gate at about 4:30pm every afternoon in hope that they can catch the ice cream man. I'll keep you posted...

Remember Biz today

2008-05-02T07:35:00.000-07:00

Thank you for all your prayers on behalf of our daughter. Please remember Biz today as this is her first day of actual chemotherapy. Pray that the only side-effects she experiences are those that are necessary for her healing.

Bonus Day

2008-05-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

As my friend, Anne, said this morning when she called me (Debbie) at home, I feel like I'm cheating the system. Yesterday, when Biz was having her kidney test done, the doctor came in and said the results from the test would not be back in time to start treatment on Thursday, so they were changing the first treatment to Friday. Biz lit up and asked if we could go home for a day. I told her I'd think about it. Four or more hours to get home and then another four or more to get back, in order to spend less than 20 hours at home, 8 of which we'd spend sleeping did not sound like it was worth it. As I was thinking about this, in the providence of God, Tim called. He was just calling to tell me that since our visits home were going to be so brief we should fly instead of taking the ferry. Aha!!! I hung up and Biz and I decided we'd fly home and surprise Tim and the kids. A 45 minute trip each way instead of 4 hours. I should have had the video camera with me when Biz and I drove up to the baseball field where Tim was practicing baseball with the boys (we borrowed the church van when we got onto the island). He was completely shocked and completely thrilled. So, we are thanking God for a bonus day! Biz is spending the day at the Ranch with the horses she loves so much and her sweet friend Roxanne, and I am at home doing school with the boys, and the 4 loads of laundry that have already piled up in the 2 days since I've been gone, and loving it. Once again, thank you for your prayers, having a day at home when you didn't think you'd be back for another two and a half weeks means more to us than you can imagine. I know that days like this are totally a gift from a gracious God, who loves to surprise us with good things, and I also believe they are the direct result of His answer to your prayers for us. Thanks, Debbie

Management Problems

2008-04-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

I just spoke with Biz and she is in the dialysis area of Children's Hospital awaiting her kidney test. In some ways, the kids and parents in that wing find themselves under a greater test of perseverance than we have known, as they must show up several times a week for several hours a day--indefinitely. Biz will only have to be there occasionally over the next few months to assure that the chemotherapy is not having a deleterious effect on her kidneys.
As I try to come up with a "home efficiency plan" I appreciate even more all that my wife does. It seems so natural for her, but for me...well...I forgot to buy toilet paper. It's called "crisis management" when I'm in charge of the homestead--anything but efficiency.
For some reason I'm less prepared for this round of treatment. I think we gave it more planning time when Deb and Biz went to Houston. There's also a lot more "spontaneity" about doctor's appointments and timing because we are "so close." Not to worry...we're like runners stumbling out of the gate. We'll have to run a little harder until we're back in the race.
We set up the table in my office again where the boys can do their school work. This may be one of the least convenient aspects of my wife's absence, but it's also one of my favorite. I like to watch the boys learning. Hopefully, when my wife gets back, their education will be none the worse for wear.

A higher hurdle to jump

2008-04-29T11:06:00.000-07:00

The regimen that Dr. Johnson is recommending is "platinum-based," made up of three different medicines (carboplatin, ifosfamide, and etoposide). Her analysis was extremely thorough and she very carefully evaluated treatment recommendations from several other oncologists. We really trust her opinion--which is in effect what it is, given the rarity of the cancer.
For Biz, this means a few predictable side-effects (hair-loss, nausea/vomiting, and tiredness) and some potential and very undesirable side effects (kidney or bladder function problems, hearing damage, and danger of serious illness from low white blood cell counts). These are the matters for which we seek your most fervent prayers.
For the rest of us--we were told that Biz (and Deb) should expect to be away from home for at least two-weeks at a time, coming home to "visit" for a few days before the next round of chemo. I had imagined this to be a "worst-case scenario." It just got moved to "best-case." Dr. Johnson is not comfortable at this point with any less than four cycles, and we may be looking at six. With cycles occurring three weeks apart, you can do the math. We're looking at 3 to 4 months of treatment. Looking, as I am right now, at my boys trying to do their school work in the waiting room, I'm realizing how high a hurdle this separation will be. Almost as high as Biz's. If she can make it, so can we. "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful" (1Cor. 1:8-9).
At this moment Biz is in surgery having a central line inserted. I think she doesn't mind the pain as much as the anesthesia, and hospital gowns (they're never warm enough). While she continues to grow in character, please pray for her perseverance, and strength to jump the hurdles.

Hat's Off to Biz!

2008-04-28T14:11:00.001-07:00

Often the most visible side effect of chemotherapy is hair loss. So I had an idea!! (I have to say at the outset that Deb is not always convinced by my ideas--like this one--but since I'm smarter than her, I think I'm right. After all--who invented MaCheeSauMe?! Good point, good point...)
Well, I thought it would be fun (for anyone who would like to participate) to give Biz a hat. After all, with summer coming she'll need to keep the sun off her head... Actually, I just thought this would be a fun way to say "Get Well Soon," sort of an alternative to Hallmark!
Use your imagination. See if you can come up with something that will remind her of you or your family or some memory of Biz or a significant event. Maybe just something that catches your eye.
I'll be posting pictures of the prettiest, ugliest, funniest, most meaningful, and ones that she actually wears.

I've been thinking about this one, myself:

For those of you with more sophisticated tastes, Biz's hat size is 6 5/8.

Chemotherapy: Beginning of Week One

2008-04-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Monday evening Deb, Biz, the boys, and I (Lydia will be staying with a friend for school) will head down to Seattle for an early Tuesday meeting with Dr. Johnson. Later that day she'll have a minor surgery to insert a central line (like a super-IV). On Wednesday, Biz has a baseline hearing test and 5-hour kidney test, which leaves me with one question: what do they do for 5 hours? I imagine it has something to do with drinking a lot of objectionable liquids.
Biz's first round of chemo is scheduled for Thursday.
The boys and I will come back to the island on Tuesday evening and return to Seattle on Friday morning. This is a consequence of competing goals. On the one hand is the priority of Biz's medical care, on the other is the desire to maintain the normal course of life for the other kids. I'm not sure if this ever works out exactly right but, with Deb in Seattle, Biz will be in very capable hands. How Lyd and the boys fare in my care is questionable. Of course, part of the solution is MaCheeSauMe. This is my own specialty. I like to say it's Indian for boxed Macaroni and cheese, extra Cheese, spaghetti Sauce, and Meat (whatever happens to be left over in the fridge). I'd tell you to write me if you'd like the recipe, but if you need a recipe you probably ought not to be near the stove. I ought not to be near the stove, but necessity is the mother of invention so, voila--MaCheeSauMe. Anyways, the boys love it, Lyd smiles and chokes it down, and I make enough to take leftovers to work. Maybe I'll take a picture of it so you can pray for us more...intelligently.
The Lord is good, and everything he does, and all that he provides, is for our good. He gives us a hope that does not disappoint because he has "poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Herein lies the focus and the goal to persevere.
Rumor has it that the chemo will make Biz nauseous for a while. Please pray that she experience nothing but what is necessary in response to the medicines.
By the way, we all receive great encouragement from your comments. We end up checking all day to see who commented and what they've had to say. If you ever wonder whether we see them, we sure do. So, as the Spirit leads...

2008-04-23T12:05:00.000-07:00

Just a lot of stuff

2008-04-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we met with Dr. Rebecca Johnson, a very gracious and extremely thorough oncologist who herself had cancer as a young lady. The "cut-and-dry" fact is that Biz has either residual or recurrent cancer in her ethmoidal sinus. So, Dr. Johnson's recommendation is that Biz begin a chemotherapy regimen next week. There are still a few questions to answer before then, but if the plan stands, Biz will be at Children's Hospital on Monday for baseline tests and pre-treatment matters. Her first cycle of chemo should be on Wednesday.
The plan Dr. Johnson presented involves chemotherapy every three weeks. The application should keep Biz in the hospital for anywhere from 2-5 days and then require her to remain within one hour, door-to-door, from the hospital until her white blood cell count is sufficient to minimize the risk for further travel. This can take up to 2 weeks. For those who are not familiar with our location: home is two-hours, plus an hour and a quarter ferry ride (with departures varying from 2 to 10 hours apart) from the hospital. Needless to say, there will be some time away from home.
There is much to pray for in this plan, the foremost being its effectiveness. While we had been told that chemotherapy was ineffective in treating esthesioneuroblastoma, Dr. Johnson believes that not only is the sample too small to draw any definite conclusions (only 100 known cases among children worldwide since the 1920's--and vastly divergent treatment approaches) but she also believes that there is evidence to the contrary. Of course, as I read in Mark 1 last night, Jesus can heal all types of diseases. Another thing to pray for is God's grace upon our family in the disruption. It is possible that we'll be spending two weeks apart and one week together for a while. But the Lord controls blood cell counts, so he will not allow more disruption than we can benefit from. Hair loss for Biz is a prayer concern. She has such beautiful, dark, straight, long hair and her disappointment is significant. Our Savior strengthens hearts. There are also toxicity concerns. Just one of the three medications they plan to use can affect hearing and kidney function. Nausea is also common. Thankfully our Savior, Jesus, also strengthens bodies.
We look for, and constantly find, God's love in all of this. We are a bit overwhelmed at the moment, as there is so much to process, but we know that your prayers sustain us.

"On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many." 2Cor. 1:10b-11

Appointment Change

2008-04-22T07:41:00.000-07:00

Our appointment with the oncologist has been changed from 9:15 a.m. to 3:15 p.m. today so that the tumor board can meet first. They need to talk about the results of the biopsy and the PT scan from yesterday and decide on a course of action. Please pray for our strength.
During yesterday's scan the nurse said that we could call later in the afternoon to get the results "if it would help you sleep better tonight." I decided I'd rather not know. I guess I am not ready for more details until we can hear the whole big picture. At certain times of the day I can feel your prayers. I know that the Lord is carrying us in a difficult time. I know that God is good, and faithful, loving and kind no matter what. Pray that our faith (especially Biz's) would be unwavering and that we would remain focused on what we know to be true about the Lord, not on our circumstances. We are so grateful for all of you who check the blog regularly and pray for us so faithfully. It is a gift of God's grace to us and a huge comfort to know we are loved and supported by you. Thank you. Debbie

Perseverance

2008-04-21T09:53:00.000-07:00

Perseverance is not something you have when the struggle begins.

"We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance" (Romans 5:3).

Perseverance's blessing is a matter of hindsight.

"As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy" (James 5:11).

Perseverance is not the goal; it's a tool.

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:4).

Perseverance is sustained by a focus upon Jesus.

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Hebrews 12:2-3).

Please pray for our perseverance.

As you pray

2008-04-18T23:06:00.000-07:00

Looking ahead to next week, what we know so far is that Biz has two appointments: Monday at 9:00am for a PET scan and Tuesday at 8:15am with the oncologist. Please pray for wisdom and healing.

Just when things were looking up...

2008-04-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

I find myself uncertain about what to write at the moment.
This evening we received a call from Dr. Perkins. Biz's MRI was not encouraging, and a biopsy taken during last week's minor surgery had "abnormal cells."
They will call us tomorrow to schedule an appointment with oncology.
Please pray for Biz.

Stress passed

2008-04-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

The surgery and the MRI both went flawlessly, and we're now at home recovering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. Thankfully, our stress was not a consequence of any medical concern but a response to the ferry schedule (for those not from the island--ferry stress is a natural phenomenon, accentuated in type-A personalities, resulting from the inordinate desire to accomplish everything on one's off-island to-do list and yet make the next ferry. Symptoms include speeding, praying, blaming your spouse for delays, and increased blood pressure levels).
At this point Dr. Perkins feels Biz should have bi-monthly, rather than quarterly, check-ups so our next round of appointments is being scheduled for the third week of June--the same week that we take Lydia to the airport for her missions trip. I may not survive such a week of fatherly trauma...

We are always so thankful to Jesus after these appointments for the quality of the doctors we have had caring for Biz. You can rejoice with us that so many of our questions were answered and that there was so much "good news."

Good Report

2008-04-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

Biz's MRI was postponed until her nasal cavity can be cleaned out--in Biz's case this requires a minor surgery; after that, they'll do the MRI (this will all be done tomorrow).
This is a matter concerning which we seek your prayers. The only potential "fix" to these quarterly surgeries is for Biz to rinse her nose with saline several times a day--an unpleasant duty no matter how you do it. As the doctor said, it feels like snorting pool water up your nose. I say, "potential fix," because there's no guarantee that this will help, but it may. The sinus build-up might be a life-long cross for Biz to to bear, but diligence about rinsing may help her significantly. Deb and I are a bit uncertain about how to approach this as parents. We could take the responsibility upon ourselves to remind her and require her to rinse at intervals throughout the day, or we could say (as we have), "This is something you must own for yourself, since we won't always be with you." Better for her to learn this while she's young and in our home. The down-side of this approach is that a lack of diligence in this matter means a scheduled surgery at the otolarangology clinic--a prospect that Biz finds more unpleasant than rinsing. Pray for our wisdom and her maturity in this matter.
The good report is that Dr. Moe waived any thought of reconstructive surgery for at least 2-3 years, if at all. He assured us that healing is nowhere near complete; it may take up to a year, especially in radiated tissue where blood flow and normal growth have been disrupted. He is amazed at the fact that Biz has no double-vision and feels that time may resolve most, if not all, issues related to appearance. He warned that to do anything drastic at this point may result in us, "snatching defeat from the jaws of victory."
We continue to pray for Biz's healing and protection, and to give thanks for all of you who held her, us, and our family up to the Lord in these times.
Oh, we also planned on buying a new dishwasher on this trip off-island but on the ferry ride over we were talking to some friends who...long story made short...put us in touch with a nearly new, free dishwasher. God works in mysterious ways.

The road goes ever onward...

2008-04-07T15:35:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly two months since my last post, a fact that is reflective of our experience at home. Life has been pushed back into its normal patterns. Biz continues to heal. The boys continue to grow. Lydia has taken up a new venture--she hopes to go to Malawi this summer with Teen Missions, Int. I am surprised by the vanishing sense of control that I once thought I had over the comings and goings and desires and circumstances of family life. I suppose this illusion is best replaced by the constant awareness of God's grace in all situations and the humility to entrust our families to the Lord's care.
I've been rebuked several times for abandoning the blog. I take that as a complement because a number of people have admitted the great benefit they've received from reading it. However, there hasn't been much to say about Biz's recovery and I'm not sure that this blog is the place for other musings. As one person said, "[The blog] served its purpose for a time," and in a practical sense that time has passed. I'm also not sure that another blog published by yours truly would be met with the same interest, or convey the same benefit, as this one because this one has been about ultimate issues and the gravest of needs among people we really care about.
My purpose for this post is two-fold. The first is to enlist the prayers of any who might still look for an occasional post. This Wednesday Biz has the first of her post-treatment check-ups. These are scheduled on regular 3-month intervals and include an MRI to ascertain whether there has been any recurrence of the cancer. Three months ago I considered this routine; today it feels quite different. We will also be consulting with Dr.'s Perkins and Moe about needed reconstructive surgeries. Last week Biz registered for freshman year at our local high school and we'd like to put behind her as many of these medical issues as possible before she begins her high school career.
The second purpose for this post is...to follow. I have struggled with some other lessons since things have "settled down," lessons that I trust will be important later, but time compels me to publish this much.

Back to Normal

2008-02-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Judging by the number of phone calls we've received for updates, this post is long overdue. So:
Deb and Biz got back to the island Wednesday, and Biz looks 200% better! She had a couple of bacterial infections, including staph, but the rash appears to have been a reaction to some ingredient in the moisturizer that she was using. The dermatologist at Children's Hospital said that it could take up to six weeks to subside and since Biz was not nauseous or feverish she may as well go home--with instructions to keep a close eye on things. Well, we have kept a close eye on things and the rash has faded fast, almost completely gone in just the past 3 days! I think she may be allergic to hospitals at this point.
I thank the Lord for the encouragement this has been. Our need for prayer has not lessened, however; it has just refocused. These events have taken their toll on us, while functioning as some of the greatest spiritual growth fertilizer possible. I can tell from my own short fuse and my lack of focus at my desk that I'm tired, so I need grace to respond with patience and diligence. We have also gained great insight into our children's and our family's strengths and weaknesses. Pray that we can best encourage growth in both.
We're glad to be back together in, what appears to be, normal life. But I've learned that normal is a matter of perspective and that sometimes "normal" is just habit and hinders us from seeing the things God would want us to see--about Him, about us, about life. Hebrews 12 reminds us that the "abnormal" confirms that we are God's children--Him at work to change us and help us see what He sees.

So close and yet...

2008-02-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

The doctors have given Biz clearance to travel as far away as Mount Vernon where our friends, Anne and Taylor Long, live. They (the doctors, not Anne and Taylor) took some cultures yesterday and found that Biz has staph and some other bacteria, the name of which Deb could not recall. Since Biz's body is not yet responding to the antibiotics they don't want her, in the event of complications, being a ferry ride away from the mainland, or needing to be air lifted in the high wind season. The plan is to check her out and reevaluate the situation on Tuesday. Until then, Anne and her girls (a wild and crazy bunch) will offer some much needed fun and distraction.
The upside of all this is that Biz is not feeling "ill." The rash is unrelenting (and itchy) and has the doctors concerned to see improvement, but she is not nauseous or feverish. She's on a lot of medication at the moment, but we keep asking the Lord to use it all to her well-being.

Divine provision

2008-02-09T09:48:00.000-08:00

Deb and Biz did, in fact, take me up on my encouragement to consider their clothing need a "providential opportunity," and, true to form, Deb called to tell me about the great deals and 75% off that she got at Eddie Bauer. Biz, too, was able to get a few things because the doctor gave her a "pass" that permitted her a few hours away from from the hospital. I thank the Lord for opportunities like that as they have a way of softening the harsh edges of medical treatment. I'm sure the girls had fun.
The dermatologist seems to know the source of the problem, apparently an allergic reaction to one of the creams she had used as a moisturizer. She hadn't used it in several days, but with her body in a more vulnerable state right now, the reaction was able to spread without much immediate response to the antibiotics. They are fairly confident that she just needs more time for the medication to do its thing.
1 Cor. 10:13 promises us that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle, but these circumstances remind me that I am not the determiner of how much that is. The Lord knows the limit and must at times take us to it. It also reminds me that it isn't a promise about how much we can handle in our own strength. Taking us to the limit is how the Lord gets us beyond self-reliance and on to dependence upon Him. As in all things, that is the goal.
We have no word yet about when Biz will be released; hopefully today but we have determined not to rush things. Our desire is to see her well and recovering--what's another day in comparison to that.

Evening Update

2008-02-08T16:33:00.000-08:00

It doesn't look like the doctors will be releasing Biz for a day or two, until they can get a handle on the nature of the rash. She had an appointment with a dermatologist this afternoon, but I have not yet gotten word about its outcome.
One point of thanksgiving: Deb and Biz are in Seattle! They were entirely unprepared for an extended stay, but at least it feels more like home, and is many, many miles closer. Except for her frugality, Deb might have considered this a providential opportunity--hit the mall down the street and buy some new clothes! At least Biz gets a fresh and stylish hospital gown everyday; Deb has only the clothes she wore down there.
Another point of thanksgiving: Craig Denney, a missionary to Thailand that we support at our church, will be at our speaking for our worship service on Sunday! That sure helps when your thoughts are 100 miles away. Once again the Lord's timing is impeccable.

Morning Update

2008-02-08T08:41:00.000-08:00

I just spoke with Biz a few minutes ago. I asked her how she was feeling and she said, "itchy." The IV appears to have had no effect last night. In fact, the rash has spread to her neck and stomach. I have no doubt the doctors will figure this out, but please keep praying to that end. Our conversation ended when the doctors came to take her away for CT and minor procedures.
Well, gotta get Lyd to school. Sometimes life makes big circles.

Another Night in the Hospital

2008-02-07T22:56:00.000-08:00

Biz will be spending at least one more night in Children's Hospital.
At about 10:30am she and Deb took the ferry to the mainland and sped down to Seattle to meet with Dr. Perkins about unexpected swelling and a rash arising in the radiated area of her face. The rash has now spread to her hands. Dr. Perkins could not identify the cause with certainty, so they admitted Biz and put her on an IV antibiotic. Tomorrow they want to take another CT scan and do some minor O.R. procedures.
Biz is exceedingly disappointed. She (and we) expected her departure from Houston to begin a doctor/hospital reprieve. Please pray that her spirit will be buoyed up in the Lord. Pray, too, for the doctors to find out what they need to find, and for Biz to get the reprieve she's been longing for the past four months.

A trip to the ER

2008-02-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure how many people will be reading the blog now that Deb and Biz have come home, but a brief update is needed today.
Biz arrived home with a noticeable "radiation sunburn" on the left side of her face. While this is typical and goes away, Biz's face, especially around her eye, has been becoming increasingly swollen, and in the last few days a rash has sprung up that is spreading to both sides. She is also experiencing a little blurring of her vision in her left eye--a first for Biz. Dr. Kornguth, the radiation oncologist at MD Anderson, said that by now we should be seeing marked improvement. Thus far it has only grown worse. So...
Deb and Biz are, at this moment, headed to the Emergency Room at UW/Children's Hospital at Dr. Perkins' recommendation. Please pray for Biz's health and healing.

P.S. for Bev L.: Why Rod Stewart?--because he's made a career of romantic love songs and my wife was coming home. It would have been more pastoral of me if I'd have said I had an urge to play the Bill Gaither Trio but, like that would ever happen! No one would have believed me.

Headed home 7

2008-02-01T18:01:00.000-08:00

6:00pm
Time to go
Gotta get flowers, gotta get chocolate, gotta be there when they get in...
strange urge to play some Rod Stewart music

Headed home 6

2008-02-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

4:00pm
House is looking pretty nice;
Went to buy flowers, but forgot my wallet...will try again
Lydia brought Lita home to help her clean; she NEEDS the help

Heard from Biz and Deb; they've landed at Seatac!
So close...they're waiting for a shuttle to Boeing;

Headed home 5

2008-02-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

2:50 pm
floor mopped; boys room cleaned.
Gotta pick up Lydia.
girls 15 minutes from landing at Seatac

Headed home 4

2008-02-01T13:55:00.001-08:00

1:55 pm
leak fixed;
girls nearing Wyoming

Headed home 3

2008-02-01T13:54:00.000-08:00

1:40pm
Leak discovered under kitchen sink...great...
girls still over Colorado

Headed home 2

2008-02-01T13:40:00.001-08:00

1:30pm
Kids schooled and fed and bathed (at least they can do the latter two themselves!);
rugs shaken, floors swept;
girls somewhere over Colorado.

Headed home

2008-02-01T09:51:00.000-08:00

10:00am
Sheets cleaned, beds made; girls checking through airport security

We've altered the plans slightly. Rather than pick the girls up at the airport, we decided to fly them to the island from Seattle on a puddle jumper. With ferry lines and schedules, rush hour traffic, and basic travel time, this will save us (me, Lyd, and the boys) about 12 hours, plus it'll keep Lyd from missing a day of school. Deb and Biz will arrive on the island around 7:00pm, saving them about three hours. The biggest (unstated) advantage is the 9 hours extra it gives us to get everything in order (plus buy some flowers).

Two more days!

2008-01-29T12:15:00.000-08:00

Lydia, Connor, Sam, and I are getting excited, and I'm sure Deb and Biz are getting itchy feet. After today's treatment (which may have already happened) there are just two cycles left: Wednesday and Thursday. I don't think they'll be disappointed to leave the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, though as Deb and Biz say goodbye, it will be with much gratitude in our hearts. The Lord has carried us, and especially Biz, through these days and he has used some great people and competent medical professionals in Houston along the way. Although this won't be "the end" of medical attention to address Biz's cancer and the side effects of her treatment, we have (Lord willing) jumped the major hurdle.
On Friday, the girls will say goodbye to the Pogues, and fly home. The Pogues' sacrifice on our behalf is well-noted, and our gratitude could not be greater--imagine having your life disrupted by a second family under your roof. I've always been told that fish and visitors stink after three days (a view which I find disconcertingly inhospitable...), but after two months anyone should be "sainted" or "knighted" or some similar thing.
Deb and Biz will touch down at 3:06pm. The kids and I will meet them at the airport and (imagine this) come straight home. We hope to bring them back to a warm, clean, comfortable home--the one they remember. There have been points over the last two months when Deb would not have recognized the place, but with a little attention over the next couple days we should pass muster. I know that Deb wouldn't care or complain, she'll just be glad to be home. But after all she's had on her plate for the last couple of months (along with an increased appreciation on my part for all that she does), I hope to make the transition an easy one. We'll call it the "Love Language" of house cleaning.
For Biz, the transition will be from "only child" to daughter with siblings. That's where life will become normal again--for all the kids--and thank God for normal.

2008-01-25T07:05:00.000-08:00

She would dance if I asked her to dance (not that I would, the time isn't right for dancing yet:), but that should give you an idea what a better day yesturday turned out to be. I know she is still tired, but she's also seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We go home a week from today.
We are so grateful to our hosts, John and Charlsie Pogue, who have been absolutely wonderful to us. Biz has enjoyed countless games of dominoes with John, and Charlsie has spoiled her with shopping trips and visits to Starbucks. They are both extremely caring people who overwhelmingly took us into their hearts and lives. We couldn't have asked for a better stay in Houston. We'll miss them. But we still look forward, with anticipation, to going home. Only seven days to go.

2008-01-23T19:31:00.000-08:00

I thought I (Debbie) would be better at updating you on our last few days here in Houston since I am here with Biz. To all of you who have been praying, we are extremely grateful. Yesterday and today have been pain free for Biz. The night before last she was up in the middle of the night for 2 hours because the pain was so severe. We talked to the doctor today and he said that even though pain is a hard thing to predict, it could get worse, and it would be normal if it did. That was a bummer to hear, but I know that the Lord is not subject to "normal", so I am counting on your prayers for Him to do what would be abnormal and even supernatural on Biz's behalf. As I was running this morning I wondered how much pain he has kept her from already. I guess we'll find out when we get to heaven.

Although Biz did not have any pain today, we had a struggle of a different kind tonight. She had a major meltdown over wanting to go home. She has made occasional comments all along about missing friends and not being with her brothers and sister, but tonight she just kept crying, "Why can't we go home today?" For those of you who know me very well, I am not the best comforter. And for those of you who know Biz very well, she's not much of a crier. What a combo. I wasn't sure what to say. The thoughts going through my mind came out of my mouth, though maybe they shouldn't have. I answered her with the facts of how many more treatment sessions we have and how the doctors know what is best, so we can't go home yet. Of course I walked away feeling completely inadequate. Did I say the right thing? Should I have said nothing at all? I did pray with her, and hug her. But I sure would appreciate your prayers that I would be able to provide the comfort and encouragement she needs. We are counting down the days until we are back home on the island.

The Highs and the Lows and the Lord in both

2008-01-21T11:40:00.000-08:00

Deb, Biz, and I had a few good days together in Houston before I left them on Friday to return to the island. Since then I've been in a melancholy funk. I don't want to use the word "depressed" because of its technical denotation, but I have been sad. One reason for my sadness is that in the last few days before my departure Biz began experiencing some of the difficulty of radiation. Nothing dramatic, just redness and swelling around her eye, but as the intensity of treatment increases with each successive cycle, all human assessment would conclude that it will become even more difficult for her. I don't want Biz to struggle through this. I have even prayed that the Lord would let me feel the struggle instead of Biz. Perhaps that's the reason for the sadness--part of the struggle. It may be important for Biz to struggle and through that find strength in Christ--the Lord knows best--but I'd ask you to pray for her comfort and peace in Christ.
Another reason for sadness is the toll that this process has taken on our family. When it's all said and done, normal family life will have been disrupted for four months. In many ways this has made us stronger, in some ways it has revealed weaknesses that lay hidden, and in a few ways it has weakened us. Satan is cunning and would love to use the latter two to our harm. But as I studied for yesterday's sermon I was reminded continually:

Isaiah 43:1-7
But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."

The Lord's children are precious and honored in his sight. It is clear from the surrounding context of this passage that this status is not a consequence of our merits or effort. Rather, it is because the Lord chose us and called each of us by name--not generically, as if a great call goes out to all mankind and we are free to choose him or not; but specifically, He chose certain ones for himself and his glory and establishes a relationship with them. He formed and created a distinct people for Himself, and He is even willing to sacrifice others for our rescue--even sacrificing His own Son. So our strength and perseverance is not assured by our desire, but by God's desire. We belong to the Lord, and He doesn't like others messing with his stuff. Like a tattered and dirty childhood doll, our value and protection is not the result of our inherent value, but of the value placed upon us and the love invested in us by our Owner.
There is also no abandonment in the fire and in the waters. Fire and waters are assured. The Lord does not say, "If..." He says "When..." But he says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you." We're never left alone on the journey. Christ says, "I chose you, and I take very good care of my stuff." So we're not going to lose. We just may need to learn to swim a little bit. Please pray for our faith and perseverance.
For those of you who may be forgetting what Biz looks like, I've pasted a few pictures. They're somewhat dated but you'll get the point. It's a great reminder of the blessing God has given us in our daughter, and of just how much more we'd be willing to endure for her sake.

Transition

2008-01-14T14:10:00.000-08:00

Another transition week has come. Deb will arrive in Houston on Tuesday to take over duties here and I'll return on Friday to take over at home. Deb will then stay until the end, returning home, Lord-willing, on Feb. 2. What a great day that will be!
Everything in Houston appears to be going better than expected. Treatments go on as usual, and Biz has had little to no negative side-effects from her treatment. I am surprised, however, at how many times the computers that operate the proton generators shut down/crash. With the millions and millions (billions?) of dollars that go into such a facility, you'd think it'd be more seemless--I guess a computer is the weak link in most areas. When the computers go down here it doesn't usually take very long to get everything back on line, and I guess it gives the world's I.T. guys some job security, I just didn't expect it at what seems to be the apex of modern technology. One more reason to look forward to heaven--no need for computers!

Praises and prayer needs

2008-01-09T16:04:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't you know it--I have a cousin in Texas! And he has four horses! We hadn't seen each other for 30 years and, until my dad called to tell me that Dana lives in Caldwell, TX, about 90 miles away, I had no idea (the Lord knows everything, however, even where to place cousins). So, with the mention of horses, it was a relatively easy task to convince Biz that we should go visit Dana and his family, which we did this past weekend. It was my first opportunity to see some of the beauty of the Texas countryside. Though it's nothing like the Northwest, it has a beauty of its own (which was undoubtedly accentuated by the saddle). Dana's son, Phil, is a student at Texas A&M in their computer progamming department so we also got to spend some time messing around with a Wii and playing (very poorly) Guitar Hero. It was a fun and relaxing weekend.
On Monday we had our weekly meeting with Dr. Kornguth. He checked Biz's eye, throat, etc.--those areas that are often affected by radiation--and said that her body is responding remarkably well. Biz has no sores, blisters, redness, or other tell-tale signs of the radiation. Your prayers on her behalf have been powerful and effective.
Please continue in prayer for the rest of our family, too. Here at just beyond the mid-way point, we're all longing for some normal life. We'd do it all over again if circumstances necessitated, but we'd appreciate your prayers for our perseverence.

Happy times

2008-01-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

The worst thing about the post-9/11 security at the airports is not the long line that you must wait in to get through the check points, nor fact that they make you remove your shoes when you get there (?!). The worst part is that when you take your wife and kids to the airport you can't walk them to the gate and see that they get away o.k. You just drop them off at the curb. So it was good to get the call from home telling me that they made it safely and according to plan. Deb and the kids arrived home to a warm house and a warm meal thanks to the loving effort of some friends, and Biz and I have begun the daily routine. I must admit that I'm not as good at this routine as Deb, but mine usually includes Starbuck's, so there are SOME advantages to having Dad take over.
We had a happy moment today as Arjun, the 6 year old boy from Seattle that I asked you to pray for, had his last treatment! He came out holding his mask, painted just like Spiderman, with a huge smile on his face. His overall cancer treatment is not finished, so you can still pray for him and his family, but he is done with radiation and experienced very little negative side-effect during the course. I have exchanged addresses with his dad and hope to see them again.
Biz's mask remains unpainted (she's a little too old, and a little too young, for that kind of nonsense). I suggested she paint it to look like me, but she didn't go for it.

Through the Bible

2007-12-31T10:25:00.001-08:00

P.S. A short note: for the past several years I have made available to our congregation a bible reading plan developed by Dr. James Meeks that takes you through the bible in a year reading Old and New Testament on Mon.-Sat., Psalms on Sundays, and relevant Christmas and Easter passages on those days. If you would like one, I can email it to you, just send me your email address at timdanielsATcenturytel.net (replace AT with @) and I'll send it to you at my next convenience. I am not on my own computer (online) so I have to make use of wi-fi connections when they're available. For those at ICC, I'll ask Kris Brown to print it out for next week's bulletin--just read Gen. 1-14 by next Sunday and Matt. 1-5:16 to keep up.

Happy New Year!

2007-12-31T09:09:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!
The boys are out swimming on a warm day in Houston, one of those beautiful days when even the breeze is warm (to think...we also considered going to Boston). I had decided to come in and get some shorts on (we had breakfast out on the patio) when I found myself sidetracked to this keyboard so that I might give another update.
Yesterday we were well fed with the Word of God. The pastor preached on John 1:1-5, 11 and did a great job. When talking about the fact that "the Word was God" he talked about the folly of many churches that try to make God "relevant" to modern people. "What do you mean by 'make God relevant'?" he said. "Our Lord never needs to be made relevant. He makes us relevant." Amen!! Without Him, we're nothing! He began his sermon, "What Do You Want From God?," with an introduction that touched on the make-up of a modern Christian bookstore, where we can see what most Christians want from God. There are loads of "self-help" books, many Christian fictions to entertain, books on marriage, finances, and health, and a very small section of bibles, most of which are oriented around the interests of readers (a bible for mothers, a bible for businessmen, a bible college students, or teen girls--let's make this relevant--even bibles designed to look like Seventeen magazine) etc. And when it comes to pure contemplation of the glory of God, the exaltation of Christ, or the understanding of His Word, there's just one small bookshelf. What do we want from God? Really made me think.
What do you want from God in 2008? I have a suggestion--The words of Paul from Philippians 3:10-11, "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead." Be sure you desire this when you pray for it, for you do not know what a year may hold in store. I am not suggesting that God is mean or cruel, or that He will refrain from doing His work simply because we don't want it. The Lord will, however, help the hungering soul to feed upon him, and you will need to train your appetite to seek its fill at His table instead of at the trough of modern pulp.
Biz is on a temporary reprieve until Wednesday--the proton generator was shut down on Friday for maintenance. By then, Deb will have gone home (with the kids) after a month away for a two week "visit." So far there have been no side-effects, but the dosage starts low at the beginning and grows with time. Over the next 2 - 3 weeks her discomfort could grow, so please keep praying for her peace and health. We continue in prayer for you all, as well.
Happy New Year!

Back to normal...sort of.

2007-12-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

This Christmas has had extra significance for the Daniels, for several reasons. First, we decided to incorporate the ancient English traditon of opening our presents on Boxing Day (for you pugilists, this has nothing to do with trunks, gloves, or the WBF; it is the day after Christmas, the day on which people open their boxes). Our interest was purely utilitarian, however, as Lydia, Connor, Sam, and I (Tim) were en route from Seattle to Houston on Christmas day and didn't arrive at the Pogue's until after 9:30pm. The primary reason for its significance to us was, of course, that we got to celebrate Christmas together after nearly a month apart.
I recognize that many people (I'm thinking especially of soldiers and their families) are apart for greater periods of time and miss many holidays in a row, but I thank the Lord for this blessing of His grace in our home, made possible through the generosity of a number of friends. I mentioned in church on Sunday that this has been another display of God's abundance toward His children--not only are we able to be together but, unbeknownst to us, the tickets to get us here are all round-trip, first-class! Sam is hardly visible in the middle of all that space.
Debbie looks beautiful. Elizabeth looks beautiful. There is nothing of great consequence to report about Biz's treatment--she goes, she reclines, they strap her in, they radiate, they let her out, and she returns to the lounge smiling. She doesn't even have to change into hospital gowns. These first few weeks are quite inconsistent, with several days for Christmas and several for the New Year (shceduled maintenance) without appointments. We've been assured that these gaps will not hinder effectiveness, but we really have no concern about that because we know that the Lord has factored all of this into His plan for Biz. Some change in the treatment schedule has pushed her return date back to February 2nd, however.
Right now we're just enjoying being together. We plan to see National Treasure 2, go mini-golfing, and eat out at a Tex-Mex favorite. I've spent the last couple of days going to treatments, building Star-Wars Legos, and encouraging patience in little boys whose Christmas money is burning a whole in their pockets. Deb has spent hers going to treatments, giving haircuts, and navigating for a husband with so little sense of direction that it's scary.
I guess things are back to normal...sort of.

Problem resolved

2007-12-19T14:52:00.000-08:00

At Biz's next treatment, it seemed that anyone who is involved in her care at any level was present. The long story made short: they had used the wrong headrest. A foam rubber headrest is set into the bed before the patient lays on it, and this headrest comes in a variety of sizes and shapes depending upon how high they want your head and whether they want your chin tipped back or forward, etc. With a larger headrest its easy to see how an otherwise fine mask can suddenly become very tight. So, with the right headrest in place, yesterday's treatment went much better. The physicist then did whatever physicists do, and assured Deb and the doctor that even with the glitch, the radiation was applied to the right areas.
The rest of us are doing well. I have yet to get Lydia to school on time...it's much easier when I don't have the boys in tow. We're only late by a minute or two, but this has been a cause of some consternation. May God pour out grace upon all you single parents. Lydia is also in the middle of semester exams, so prayer for her focus and her studies would certainly be helpful. Sam tells me every day how many more days there are until Christmas--when we'll get to see Mom and Biz. Connor is helping with everything, without even being asked.

I've Got Tough Girls

2007-12-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

Deb woke up about 2am this morning, angry. She had been feeling sadness over Biz's painful mask experience yesterday, but now she was mad because Biz, who is a stoic when it comes to pain, had been objecting all along that the mask was "uncomfortable" and no one had taken her words seriously. So this morning, after a few phone calls to other doctors and friends, Deb decided it was time to come to Biz's defense. I cannot do justice to the story, but suffice it to say that in the course of conversation Deb would not allow the doctor to use his preferred term, "discomfort," a word he tried to use at least 4 times to describe Biz's experience. Deb told him that comfort is not the issue at this point; Biz has bruises on her face and couldn't see clearly for ten minutes or more after they removed the mask. Deb assures me that she was very civil and self-controlled, but the doctor now knows that she will not be satisfied until she is satisfied that things are being done properly. She assured the doctor that Biz will endure whatever she must if he tells her she must; so because of the trust Biz is extending to him, he had better be sure that what she endures is only what is necessary and appropriate.
While I don't know anyone sweeter, I also know that my wife has no problem standing on principle and continuing to stand until the appropriate changes have been made (I guess that's why our kids are so well behaved...). But by her assessment, Deb has never had to exercise such insistence and resolve as she did today. Please pray for her strength. We want what's best for Biz--that's why we're separated by a couple months and couple thousand miles. Pray that she will advocate well for Biz even though she must do so alone. Pray that she won't be warn down if the Lord wants her to be a rock, nor that she'll become an irritant if unwarranted (this was her specific request). Pray that only appropriate changes would be made and that, if necessary, the doctor would recognize the need to start from scratch with a new mask and a new computer model. Today they plan to try a shim but, since precision is our reason for being at M.D. Anderson, "good enough" is not good enough as far as we are concerned.
We prayed together at the end of our phone call, and the Lord brought us peace--and a game plan--but often the game plan is just my own and the Lord already has it all worked out. I trust that a better report will come this evening. This may all be just a part of the Lord's answer to our prayers for Biz's protection.

A New Superhero?

2007-12-17T16:29:00.001-08:00

Cycle one has ended and true to form (and by God's grace) Biz made it through with flying colors--this too, as so often in Biz's life, by overcoming extra adversity. Deb's post-treatment phone call brought the news, beginning with her declaration, "Once again, Biz is my new hero!" and not just because she has the mask. It turns out that her mask was too tight! After her treatment, the pressure from the mask against Biz's face had bruised her lower lip and made her unable to see clearly for ten minutes or so. The technician took one look at the waffle print all over Biz's face and said, "We need to make you a new mask." So thanks for praying. Not only did the Lord give her strength and peace, he brought the hope of a better day tomorrow--literally. Nothing is too small (or great) for the Lord?

Today is the (next) big day

2007-12-17T09:36:00.000-08:00

Many days in the course of Biz's treatment have been "big" days, and this day is no exception. Today is the first of Biz's radiation treatments.
In all she has 28 individual "cycles," as they call them, which means 28 days of radiation treatments--5 days a week, minus a couple days for Christmas and New Year's Day. If all goes according to schedule, which I surmise is not assured, Biz's last treatment will be on January 30th. Conversations with doctors in the next few days will help us determine how close to that date we should schedule Deb and Biz's return flight.
Deb will be making the daily trek to M.D. Anderson during rush hour traffic because Biz's treatment time is 5:00pm each day. The appointment time is actually a blessing, from our perspective, as it allows Biz time each day to do her school work, plus a relatively free block of the day for Deb and Biz should they need or want to do other things. But please pray for safe and timely travel each day on the madness that Houston calls a highway.
Pray today for peace as Biz did not much appreciate having her head clamped down to the treatment bed when they made her mask. It's imperative that she remain calm and still for the duration of the cycle, and if she has any claustrophobic feelings that will make it more difficult.
"Lord Jesus, thank You for being with Elizabeth everyday--including this day. I pray that today, from the riches of Your grace, you would strengthen Biz by Your Spirit to accomplish the task before her. Please give her a sense of Your presence with her in the treatment room. I pray that You would keep her heart at rest even as You protect the healthy tissues and organs of her body during her radiation treatments. May this all work together for her good, her healing, and the honor of Your name. Amen."

Joyful suffering

2007-12-13T12:27:00.000-08:00

One of the minor sufferings that life calls some of us to endure: my kids haven't seen their mom for eleven days and won't for another dozen. This makes life a little rough around the edges that are normally smoothed by her, and makes the table feel emptier than just one person's absence. They also miss their sister. Each of the kids brings a different personality to the family and its hard to adjust when one part is missing.
Nevertheless, I'm enjoying the concentrated time with the other three. I get to home school the boys on some days (with help from friends on other days), and review homework with Lydia in the evenings and on weekends. We're also spending available evenings together watching the memorable Christmas movies, A Christmas Story being my personal favorite. We're being supplied with excellent meals from friends and neighbors so, all things considered, the suffering is minimized.
Telephone reports from Houston have been positive. Biz has spent the last two days (except for morning appointments) working for Charlsie Pogue at her office. If any of you have had Biz working for you, you know that she excels as a helper--very conscientious and proactive. The opportunity (and the money she's making) has been a boost. It's been many days since she passed the "tired of appointments" threshold, so now she just accepts them. I once asked a young Israeli if he was taking English classes because his school required it, or because he wanted to. He said, "Oh no, I want to. If I didn't, they'd make me." Preference has no bearing upon the subject at this point.
Deb and Biz attended a little church in Houston on Sunday, Christ Evangelical Presbyterian Church, only about 500 people. Compared to some of the mega-churches available in the area (even some good ones) it was an intimate setting. I was able to listen to the sermons on the internet and think the pastor does a great job (biblically-centered and doctrinally-faithful, and interesting to boot). Some people in the congregation reached out to the girls and plan to have them over to make Christmas cookies. It seems that CEPC may be a good respite for the extended stay.
I'm continually asked--and I do not mind at all--if there is anything people can do to help. Aside from being terrible at delegation (and asking), I really can't think of any physical need we have. Only prayer. Thanks to the generosity of MANY, and especially to the Lord who worked in each one's heart, I have even been able to write checks as the hospital bills come due. This was one of my early prayer requests, and the Lord has provided.
Treatment begins on Monday.
Counting down the days until we're together.
Considering each trial pure joy because we see our Savior in it.

Infinite Love

2007-12-09T23:42:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I had a revelation...God's love is infinite. You'd think that, as a pastor, I'd already have known this, but in my case it has taken tapping His reservoir of supply to recognize this. I, of course, understood it theoretically and theologically, but my theory and theology had not been tested to the point that it also became practical. The obstacle has not been the Lord's abundant supply. Those of you who have followed our journey have seen His loving response to our needs. The real obstacle has been my reluctance to accept it.
Last night during our church prayer meeting I was listening to someone pray for my daughter and I sensed that I was becoming hesitant to ask God for some things. It was as if I was afraid of reaching the limits of grace available to me, as if to say, "Boy, God sure has done a lot for us so far. I shouldn't impose upon Him any more than absolutely necessary." What a crock! I never deserved any measure of grace! It has all come as an expression of love.
Within my heart there are always remnants of an old way of life--the way of life that wants to obligate God. I had been tempted to consider God's grace just an appropriate response obligated by the severity of our need. We've all seen people respond in this way--the more severe the need, the greater the sense of obligation to meet it. Picture an infomercial about starving children in Africa and you'll understand what I mean. When you watch it you're not really compelled by love for them, but by the severity of their need and the level of guilt you may experience at your failure to help. And when you've "done your part," the obligation has been met. This is the sense of obligation that I had been inferring upon the Lord's abundant goodness. We were the starving Africans and he was the wealthy American obligated to respond to the need. And it was getting to the point where He'd done his part.
So there, in the midst of prayer, the Lord impressed upon my heart to continue seeking Him in all things and at all times, because the reservoir is limitless. He never was obligated. He only acts toward us out of His love for us. Every bit of mercy that He shows us is an expression of limitless love. The Lord gives and gives and provokes us to seek more. He does not become burdened by our constant asking, but delights in opportunities to prove that His love is without end and the riches of His grace are free flowing and liberal.
The simple fact is that we can't impose upon the Lord or obligate Him. We can, in our pride, lower our expectations of the Lord, but He will reveal His love anyway. So...pray with me and don't slacken in your requests because our need will never exceed infinite love.
A brief update: I left Debbie and Biz in Houston on Saturday to come be with the Lydia, Connor, and Sam. Deb will have to help Biz (with the Lord's enabling) through her first and early treatments on her own. Then we (me and the other kids) will travel to Houston on Christmas Day to be with them for a week and then Deb and I will swap duties. It's hard being apart, but it is for the good.

Oh...did I forget to mention...

2007-12-09T23:16:00.000-08:00

Biz's PET Scan came back negative. That means there was no evidence of her cancer having spread to her lymph nodes (or anywhere else, for that matter). It also means that radiation will not have to be directed to anywhere beyond Biz's sinuses. Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Big place

2007-12-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

University of Texas Medical complex, and the MD Anderson Cancer Center, is a city by comparison with the University of Washington and Children's Hospital. We park at one building, sometimes take shuttle buses to other buildings, and even take 8 passenger golf cart shuttles to different parts of buildings. This gives the feeling of being on the very cutting edge of cancer research and treatment. People we spoke with beforehand said this was the finest cancer center in the world, which I did not believe could be better than the UW, but if it isn't, it must be the largest. This is not always a positive fact because it loses its personal touch--whereas at Children's Hospital a CT Scan was an individual event, here Biz was called into a group of about 7 women (all but her in their later 40's and up), led together to a dressing room, and then led together to the diagnostic imaging center. Looking at the women's faces, it all had a vague Auschwitz feel to it. Nevertheless, they were all getting excellent care.
Today Biz is having a PET Scan. It still remains for next week to take a field of vision test, an audiology test, and one or two more physician consultations. These have become routine for us, far different from our initial experiences when all was new. But please continue to pray for the doctors to see what they need to see and to have thoughts about treatment that are guided by the Lord. Please also pray for Biz's "human interaction." She's been spending a lot of time with adults lately and has only two little dogs for playmates. She could use a friend her age.

The conclusion of the story…

2007-12-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

A blown alternator, and a chance to spend some time with Umesh, Nayana, and Arjun, who saw our car being prepared for towing so they offered us a ride home. Remember to pray for them. Every circumstance of our lives is orchestrated by the Lord.

Please pray about this, also: during our pre-treatment appointments we’ve been told that nausea will accompany the radiation, which becomes progressively more intense. However, in talking with people undergoing treatment there is a high percentage that experiences no nausea at all. Please pray that Biz would have no illness or loss of appetite during her treatment.

A day without appointments or test, for which Biz gave thanks when we prayed at breakfast...

The Exploder

2007-12-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

The Pogues have an extra vehicle that they have graciously allowed us to use, a Ford Explorer that Charlsie has affectionately dubbed, "The Exploder." This morning Biz and I took the Exploder to a 9:00am appointment, braving Houston's Rush Hour traffic. We were listening to a message by R.C. Sproul when, suddenly, the volume grew louder and louder until...silence. On the dash, the anti-lock brake light came on, which began to concern me but as none of this seemed to affect the operation of the vehicle I just assumed that the radio blew out and that the light was always on, I had just failed to notice. Shortly after that, Biz pointed out that the tachometer read 0-rpms. Next the clock and compass began blinking, faster and faster, until they too disappeared from the screen. By this point, the car was running roughly and the speedometer had also stopped working, but as we were by now just two intersections from the hospital we prayed, "Lord, please just help us get to the hospital." As we were pulling into the parking lot Biz said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it stopped working right here..." which is exactly what happened. When we had pulled into our parking space it stopped running. I hadn't even put my foot on the brake to stop the car when the Exploder said "I'm done." I turned the key...no response.
This is a story in process. Biz and I are now sitting in the waiting room contemplating whether to get a taxi home. I don't have the Pogue's phone number with me, so...
At least we're on time for our appointment, and the vehicle is not sitting in the middle of a city street.

Another waiting room, another post

2007-12-04T12:56:00.001-08:00

At this point, Biz's treatment schedule begins on the 17th. I had hoped to avoid a gap between travel and treatment but I was unsuccessful in my efforts. The upside is that they are planning for fewer sessions than we had been told at first (28 instead of 38) so her last treatment will be on January 30th. A tradition of sorts has grown up at the treatment center: families throw a party to celebrate the last day of treatment. With all these Texans around, I think I'll start planning for just the right Northwest Washington fare--salmon, crab, blackberries...maybe tofu and soy milk. With all the beef and fried food around here, they might appreciate the change of pace.
Speaking of change of pace: we are about 30 minutes away from the hospital and the highway that we travel (I-10) is in the process of being expanded to 20 lanes (10 lanes each direction)!! I guess that's what Texans mean when they talk about growth management. For those of you from San Juan Island: you've got to try this! But only once. For those of you not from San Juan Island: may God give you grace. For those of you from Houston, TX: the road hazard in the middle of the highway--that's me. Sorry.

Blog on the run

2007-12-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

I have to blog on the run. Our host’s modem was just fried in an electrical storm, so I guess I’ll give updates from wireless-enabled waiting rooms. Most of what follows was written last night:

We arrived at our Houston “headquarters” at about 1:00am on Monday morning: the home of John and Charlsie Pogue. The Pogues are new friends to us, but old friends of old friends. They have a beautiful home in the Bunker Hills Village section of Houston, with an upper level that is perfectly suited for an extended stay, sort of like a separate guest quarters. Our trip has been a bit like traveling with a VIP…everywhere we go arrangements and greetings are extended to let Biz know she’s loved. It began with a friend arranging with the Border Patrol (we were on the sailing from Sydney, BC) to get us off the ferry first and through customs with no delay so that we could catch our flight. We boarded the plane for Houston as first class passengers—a complimentary upgrade. The Pogues prepared Biz’s room with a “horse” theme (stuffed animals, a huge book about horses, and a copy of the movie Flicka), her own little Christmas tree, and an Advent calendar (more like a doll house) with treats behind each door. When we arrived at the MD Anderson Cancer Center, Evette (our contact there) was waiting at the door for us and when she saw Biz she let out an expressive, “Ooooh, girl, you are just gorgeous!” That makes three times she’s been told that since we’ve arrived.
Yesterday (Monday the 3^rd) we met with Dr. Kornguth, the radiation oncologist, and had the treatment and risks explained once again. Happily, his assessment was more optimistic than the one we heard in Seattle, and so far his approach is more conservative.

The second most difficult thing about the day was the “simulation,” during which they prepared a mask to hold Biz’s head still throughout the treatments. Picture the black material that attaches itself to Spiderman in Spiderman 3 and you’ll get the picture—except that it hardens in place and clamps down to a bed. Along with that they put a cork in your mouth taped to a tongue depressor so that you can hardly breath out of your mouth—and of course the mask plus recent surgeries hindered breathing out of her nose—and you can understand the feeling of claustrophobia and suffocation. Please pray for her peace and comfort each day of radiation, a matter of less pain than mental distress. Biz finally got through that, so we're on our way to another series of tests. On Friday they will do a PET scan to assess the lymph nodes in neck. Dr. Kornguth would like to refrain from radiating them if there is no evidence of infection.

The most difficult thing about the day was hearing the story of Arjun Vaghela, a little boy from Seattle at MD Anderson whose parents, Nayana and Umesh, we met in the waiting area. Arjun is 6 and has a similar cancer. The greatest difference in our stories is that they do not know Christ, and so they do not have the hope we have. I told them that I was writing this blog for all our friends who are praying for us and that you would pray for them too. Ask the Lord to reveal Himself to them through this. They'll be here through Christmas, so we told them we'd have them for over Christmas.

We're dreaming of a warm Christmas...

2007-11-27T14:25:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I awoke around 4:45am with a load of anxiety on my mind. I felt that the delay between surgery and radiation was going to be too long, I didn't know where we were to go, I didn't know where we would stay when we got there or how we'd get around, and the price of rentals for such an extended period was shocking! Philippians 4:6-7 came to mind, which says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." So I prayed for Biz's health, and every detail of this venture...and I was still anxious. So I prayed about it again...and again...and I was still anxious. So I prayed about that Scripture saying, "Lord, you said that if I came to you about these concerns you'd give me peace beyond understanding, and I'm not feeling very peaceful." Hearing no voice and feeling no change, I got up.
I left for work with a plan. I was going get online and email churches in Boston and in Houston, explaining our situation and waiting to see what the Lord brought about. When I sat down at my desk I opened my computer and before I could do anything further, the phone rang. It was from a couple in Houston (the Pogues), friends of a friend, who just wanted to let us know that they have two extra bedrooms upstairs, with a private bath and living room, and they would like to offer them for our use...more than that, they also have an extra car for us to use...more than that, he was able to get us airfare with Continental Airlines...
This morning, at 5:45am, the phone rang. It was MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. They want to see Elizabeth on Monday.

Today I realized that Philippians 4:6-7 never stipulates how or when the Lord would bring his peace, but I want you to know that my anxiety is gone. The Lord is so faithful, and will answer every prayer...at just the time we need.

Please pray for our travel plans. Lord willing, Deb and I plan to "tag team" this trip...she'll stay with Biz for a couple of weeks, then I will, then she will. We plan to take the whole family down for Christmas. I think I'll bring some shorts, just for fun. Pray also for Biz. In many ways, this is the most dangerous part of her cancer treatment, with risks of short-term, long-term, and lifelong side-effects should radiation damage certain tissues (like her retina, optic nerve, tear ducts, and/or pituitary gland). Pray for God's protection of these important body parts, and the destruction of any remaining cancer cells. Pray also that he would both sustain and strengthen our family. It's a long time to be apart, and the kids will likely have to eat my cooking. Most of all, help me fulfill one stipulation from Philippians 4, "with thanksgiving." The Lord continues to bless us and answer our prayers more abundantly than we could ask or imagine.

Father, can you carry this?

2007-11-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

Some questions were answered today and others were thrown back to us. This, of course, means that we must throw them back upon the Lord, who knows everything, even the end from the beginning.
According to Dr. Douglas, though oncology doctors might have different opinions about the appropriate "modality" (type) of radiation, all would agree that radiotherapy is necessary in Biz's case. Esthesioneuroblastoma has a very high rate of recurrence, even after what they call a "gross total resection" (i.e. complete surgical removal) of the tumor, such as Biz had. Microscopic disease cells often remain and become the source of a second tumor. Dr. Douglas doesn't recommend risking the potential aggressiveness of this cancer. Recurrence is almost always more severe and the statistics for success diminish accordingly. If Biz was his daughter, she'd undergo radiotherapy without question.
As to where and what type...there are essentially two primary options: photon beam and proton beam. The first, photon, is what we might call the "traditional" type. The second, proton, is a less-than-perfect, though much improved type of radiation that has less effect on surrounding tissue. This is the "hot ticket item" but is available primarily in Boston, MA and Houston, TX (there are 3 other centers in the US, but they are lacking in experience with either Biz's type of cancer or with pediatric cases). Dr. Douglas agrees that proton is the best approach technically, but suggests that because of Biz's age and some improvements in the photon application, the benefits of proton could be modest and must be weighed against the difficulty and family disruption associated with an 8 week trek across the country.
I won't bore you with statistics or percentages as I am reminded from the book of Isaiah that Yahweh is not bound by prognoses--He creates them. But I will ask you to pray for wisdom, for issues of insurance coverage, for questions about travel and living arrangements, and for the Lord's protection of Biz's affected healthy tissues--primarily her eye and her pituitary gland (from where such things as growth hormone come). Pray for us especially tomorrow (Tues.) as I will be making important phone calls and we will be making a decision--time is of the essence.
Pray also for contacts in either Boston or Houston where we can set up a "home base," maybe someone with an available couple of beds and a heart for hospitality. I will probably call some churches in those areas.
I know all this treatment and risk talk must have Biz concerned, but you'd never know it. It is the grace of God that allows a child to entrust overly heavy burdens to his/her parents and know that they will do what is best for him/her. At the moment I feel a bit overwhelmed, like one of our kids when they try to carry a suitcase that's too heavy for them, struggling along until they call out, "Hey Pop, can you carry this for me?" Deb and I trust that our Father will do for us what we would do for our own children. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!"

Dare we even ask?

2007-11-13T20:50:00.000-08:00

In our conversation with Dr. Perkins this week, he mentioned that when the tumor board met about Biz's treatment, there was some discussion about whether she even needed radiation at all. If this is true, it would be an amazing answer to prayer. In fact, it would be an answer to prayers I had not even prayed, as I never imagined this could be possible. Please pray about this as the Lord leads. Medical studies have shown a much lower rate of recurrence when surgery and radiation are used together than when just one or the other is used. We don't want to do less than the best, but we also don't want to do more than is necessary because there can be harmful side-effects to radiation.
We know that the Lord "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." We meet with Dr. Douglas, the radiation oncologist, on Monday the 19th and are seeking the Lord's guidance.

Another chapter

2007-11-12T21:44:00.000-08:00

Although we've been dealing with cancer, today marked Biz's first actual set of appointments in the oncology department. For me, this gave the waiting room a very different feel because you knew that every child there was in a "life or death" medical struggle. Otolarangology, where we've spent most of our time until now, addresses all types of ear, nose, and throat problems, and not all of them serious; ICU was intense, but moving toward recovery; oncology, on the other hand, was quiet, and patient, and deep. I didn't know whether to smile or cry when a boy around 8 or 9 entered the waiting room, all of his hair gone because of chemotherapy, followed by his dad, who had shaved his own head in love and support. Then there was the tenderness of a healthy 13 year old boy holding his ill 11 year old sister's hand because he loved her and she was stronger for it. This is a sobering place, but somehow full of God's mercy.
We spent from about 10am to 5:30pm at the hospital, covering several appointments and a couple of medical tests/CT scans. The most difficult part of the day was a minor procedure that Dr. Perkins performed. He was going to schedule it as a surgical procedure on another day since Biz still had some discomfort in the area. Biz said, "I'd rather do it now. I don't want to come off island again." So, despite the pain, she sat rock-still while he did what he needed to do, without anesthesia. That allowed for an immediate CT scan, and other appointments, and it will also facilitate quicker healing.
We were still unable to meet with Dr. Douglas, the radiation oncologist, which we had very much wanted to do, but we must leave that to the Lord's timing. We are scheduled for that appointment one week from today. Other conversations have encouraged us that we will get the best, unbiased opinion from him, as well as his "clout" behind our care. He is apparently very well known nationally.
Please be in prayer about the decisions and plans we must make. Also give thanks to the Lord for the amazing recovery Biz has made so far. The swelling continues to diminish, and her spirits are up. Having been assured that she would have at least temporary double vision, the Lord has shown that He is not subject to prognosis. Biz was disappointed today by the assurance that radiation makes people feel ill. Pray that such would not be her experience.

Pressing On

2007-11-08T13:47:00.000-08:00

Our next round of appointments begins on Monday, November 12. It is this process which will help us to determine the best care and treatment possible. Please pray for wisdom, for the doctors to have thoughts and opinions from Christ Himself, thoughts that might never have occurred to them otherwise. Pray for Elizabeth's spirit. She is so joyful now that I do not want anything to dampen her outlook, and I want everything to direct her thoughts to the love and goodness of Christ. I am praying for all of you, that her (and our) experience would make you more dependent upon Christ, joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Press on with us.
One thought as you pray. This comes from The Power of Prayer in a Believer's Life, by Charles Spurgeon. "The throne to which we are called to come is the throne of grace. It is set up on purpose for the dispensation of grace and from which every utterance is an utterance of grace...If in prayer I come before a throne of grace, the faults of my prayer will be overlooked...How this should encourage any of us who feel ourselves to be feeble, wandering, and unskillful in prayer."

Home Sweet Home

2007-11-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

We're at home.
Biz has been remarkably light-hearted and unconcerned about her swollen face--I think I've witnessed about 5 years of maturing in just under a month. When asked if she'd be ready for church tomorrow, she just said, "Yeah, I think I'll feel good enough." She has had a bright smile on her face all day.
It was a delight to rejoin the rest of the family. We did all the normal stuff--play PlayStation, eat dinner, have devotions together, and give thanks to the Lord for friends and family whose love has made these days the maturing, encouraging, hope-giving, focusing, deepening days they have been. Not that our prayers may slacken; there's still much to do, but also much evidence of the love of God upon which we can hold. I feel sorry for Job, who did not have such a benefit in trials. Yet in the end he had one great confession: "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
I thank God for my family and our home. I thank God for growing my children, and especially Biz, in their trust in Him.
I could (and will) say more, but right now everyone is in their own beds, and we have a great God to worship tomorrow. Time to sleep.

Grace Administered

2007-11-02T23:05:00.000-07:00

Deb has finally let me pull the overnight shift. The rooms at Children's Hospital each have a fold out couch that will accommodate one parent, and since Biz can now handle restroom and other such functions on her own, Deb can break away for a sorely-needed, uninterrupted night of sleep. We've had a "home base" at the Silverstein's for much of this process, just 10 minutes from the hospital, and it's a very comfortable place for all of us (in every sense of the term). More importantly, Biz is sleeping. We've moved out of ICU into the surgery recovery area where, instead of waking you up every 2 hours, they stretch it out to every 4 hours. If she gets a good night of sleep and is strong enough to walk around tomorrow (Biz was the first patient her nurse had ever had walk out of ICU, but it was tiring) we'll be coming home. I don't even care which ferry we catch.
A couple of lighthearted moments enriched the day. The first...a friend of hers from Mt. Vernon went trick-or-treating for Biz and brought the candy to the hospital. Among the goodies was a gummy eyeball (actually about 10 or 15 of them--must have been this year's hot item). So Deb took one out to the doctor who was in charge of the ICU and said, "This fell out, should I just put it back in?" Biz thought that was hilarious and it produced the first rolling laughter I've heard from her for some time.
The second comic relief...The nurse brought in a capsule of antibiotic--the type with a plastic-like shell that dissolves in your stomach, like Contact. Biz had never seen one of these before, so she took the top off and some of the powder spilled on to her thumb and finger. Not wanting to short-change Biz on the dosage, Deb said, "Don't worry about it; just lick it off." What neither of them expected was that the medicine tasted SO BAD that it triggered her gag reflex and Biz almost threw up on the spot. She rinsed her mouth repeatedly, tried bread and other food, anything to remove the taste that continued to agitate the gag reflex, and it just wouldn't go away. In the meantime Deb had put the capsule back together and handed it to Biz, telling her she needed to take the rest. Only after a few moments of parent-child tension did we all realize that Biz thought Deb was telling her to take the top back off and swallow the powder down, which Biz was certain would just not work. We all rolled with laughter when we finally got it figured out.
I consider both of these events administrations of God's grace. When some humor is needed, God can create some very comic moments. When God's children endure hardships, God's grace enables them to persevere. Sometimes his grace grants physical deliverance from cancer, other times the deliverance is far greater. Always it gives strength in the battle--if we will rely upon him. I think I have begun to understand what Paul meant when he wrote that we should not "grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope." There is a choice involved in this and either God's children will or God's children won't. The strength doesn't come from trusting in doctors, or in diets--though the Lord often uses these in the healing process. It does not come by confessing happy words or trusting in our faith. It comes from knowing our God, who has all power and wisdom and love, and entrusting ourselves to him because we know that whatever the outcome it will be the most loving and wise, because he can make it turn out any way he chooses. Sometimes our world is way too big and our God is way too small. We never imagine that God's grace will provide the strength we need before we begin the fight, but our testimony is that, in answer to many prayers, the peace of God has guarded our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. His word is true. Sometimes God's grace provides rest and comfort in strange places. Sometimes it supplies our needs through the generosity of others. Always it transforms us. Always it is sufficient for the need at hand.

Midday Friday

2007-11-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

12:30pm on Friday and we're still in ICU, but only because they couldn't get us a bed on the regular patient care floor. Her eye is still swollen shut, but the swelling has gone down considerably. Biz has had a tiredness headache this morning because she's not getting good nights of sleep--not only are they constantly poking and prodding and shining lights and giving medicine when you're in ICU, but they also make her sleep at an incline to help reduce pressure and swelling. Kind of like sleeping in the Lazy Boy (or the pew at church) which some of us do quite well... The change to a different unit will be welcome--maybe she'll be able to get a good night of sleep. Not that I'm complaining, mind you...the care they have been giving her is amazing. The doctors and nurses are all energetic, professional, and considerate. The love what they do, and they do it well.
Here's some of the ways the Lord has answered our prayers so far...
Yesterday, Dr. Moe came in (followed by Dr. Larry and Dr. Curly--just kidding, but I knew you'd be thinking it too)...anyway, Deb and I have been constantly thanking the doctors for their effort and excellence, and Deb told Dr. Moe that she thought he did an amazing job. He responded, "it went better than we could have imagined." We had been praying for the doctors, as you all have been--we prayed for their strength and performance during the surgery, and when they came out to discuss the surgery with us we prayed with them, giving thanks to our trustworthy God for what he had enabled them to accomplish. But when even the doctor is impressed with how well the surgery went all praise goes to the Lord.
During his check-up yesterday, Dr. Perkins, the pediatric E.N.T., said he has never heard of someone coming out of this type of surgery without double-vision for at least the first few weeks (often longer). When he asked Biz how many fingers he was holding up, she said "one." In answer to your prayers, the Lord has kept Biz from having double vision.
We reached one small milestone: Biz took a shower last night. It wore her out, but she did it. We also pushed her around the hospital this morning in her wheel chair and hope to go for a walk after lunch. (Update: we played Gin Rummy instead and she beat me like a drum).
Things still ahead for prayer:
We are begining to discuss radiation therapy to kill the cancer cells that remain. Technically, Biz has had the tumor removed, but she still has cancer and, left untreated, it will recur. Options for what is best may take us as far away as Boston or Houston. Traditional radiation causes harsh side effects to any sensitive, healthy tissues through which it passes. This could result, in Biz's case, in eye problems like cataracts or even blindness, and cessation of growth on that side of her face. New technologies have been developed at places like Harvard Medical School that may help significantly. Pray for wisdom as we speak with the UW specialist.

REMARKABLE

2007-11-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

It is Thursday, almost 1:oo p.m. and Biz is once again sleeping. She is still in ICU, but only for monitoring and with prospects of moving to a regular room soon:) When the doctors came in this morning and saw her charts from the night, they were completely amazed. Their exact word was "remarkable". She went through the night with only Tylenol as a pain reliever, no anti-nausea medications, and the ability to track with her left eye. It is very painful for her to open her left eye, and it is quite swollen, but she really has been remarkable in her efforts to do whatever the doctors ask her to do, even when it hurts. We are so grateful to all of you that are so diligently praying for her, we can definitely see God working and giving her grace beyond measure. Keep praying for us, we are extremely tired, and have not gotten very good sleep here at the hospital. Thank you, Debbie (Psalm 119:92)

Going to Bed

2007-10-31T22:52:00.001-07:00

Biz is resting, Deb is sleeping on a fold out couch beside her, and I'm in a "sleeping closet," which is pretty much what it sounds like--a single bed in a closet on the 5th floor, with a lamp and an electrical outlet and no windows. You could fall asleep in here and never know when morning arrives. Given the events of this day, its a good thing I have a good alarm clock.
Good night, and thanks to everyone who has cared and prayed and loved and posted comments. And thank you, Jesus. You've done all of those, except post comments.
Today's surgery was only a battle in a war. It was a good battle, a victory, with prospects for success to follow, but Biz is still in need of prayer. We'll have radiation options to consider, constant follow-ups and check-ups, many incidental details to address. But for now, we've won a battle. We won't think about the other stuff today. We're going to bed.

Update 4:45pm PDT

2007-10-31T16:51:00.000-07:00

Biz is out of surgery and she looks beautiful! They did not have to drop the upper jaw (YEAH!) and only one spot of the bone appeared to have any tumor. This was reconstructed with a titanium/plastic material and both doctors were quite impressed with how well it went. They had to cut one of the muscles controlling eye movement in order to do this, and double vision may result. Normally the brain compensates for this (an amazing Creator) but we'd rather not have it at all. There will be a need for radiation, as expected, and because this will impact the eye we need wisdom as we consider the options. So please pray for everything eye-related.
She is sleeping.

Things to Thank Jesus For

2007-10-31T14:57:00.001-07:00

That God is good no matter what we go through or the outcomes. I thank God that we don't put faith in our faith (as so many charlatan preachers insist upon), but in our God, whom we can trust no matter the circumstance.
For my wife's insistence that something was not right about Biz's stuffy nose, despite the doctor's assurance that it was just allergies.
For Dr. Perkins, who, at a local doctors phone call, scheduled to see Biz the very next day and has fast-tracked this entire process.
For Dr. Moe, who has recently developed the procedure he will be using today which averted the need to cut away the jaw, cheek bone, and lower skull (He will actually cut behind the upper lip, behind her eye, and go through the nose--this was our first big answer to prayer).
That we live near one of the finest cancer research and pediatric care hospitals in the world, at this time of need in our lives. We could have been anywhere--who knew?
For a great recovery after yesterday's embolization. Biz was eating almost as soon as she woke up and got a great night of sleep last night.
For our good friends, the Silversteins, who have spoiled Biz (and us) beyond measure and who have opened their home to us--just 10 minutes from the hospital. This has been strengthening and encouraging. Fred is a retired doctor from this hospital system and helps us make sense of things.
For a good running car to get back and forth--our others are "questionable" (i.e. they're "island cars").
For special treatment and expressions of love from our church family and friends to Biz (and us). Lots of little gifts, and gift-giving is really meaningful to Biz.
For food and financial support of all kinds (money, ferry tickets, lunches and dinners, etc.).
For friends who have spread the word and maintained prayer support and networks.
For a day when maintaining communication like this is possible from a laptop in a waiting room. Imagine what that means for the advancements in medical technology.
More to come.

Update 2:15pm PDT

2007-10-31T14:18:00.000-07:00

We've just been told that doctors have begun the reconstruction stage of surgery. That means two things: the tumor is out (!) and there are about 2 more hours to go.
Thank you for praying, and keep it up. Pray that her nausea will be kept to a minimum, as well as her pain, and that Dr. Moe, not only a specialist in skull base tumors but also a specialist in cranio-facial reconstruction, would be at peak performance even after so many hours of standing in the OR.

Dependent

2007-10-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

Walking down the hallway of Children's Hospital I pass two displays--one with 384 names of people who have given substantial gifts and grants to the hospital, another with 330 names of people who have set up endowments for the hospital's on-going work. In fact, one whole wing of this place is named after Melinda Gates, for obvious reasons. In all of this I have seen God's mercies. Every name has been used by God to bless us, and especially Elizabeth. I found myself wishing that I could do the same for others, but the reality of my life circumstances is that I will never find a place on a notable donors list.
So I was thanking the Lord for these lists, for directing their hearts like a watercourse, and I learned a lesson: I am dependent upon Him to work through the resources of others. Big discovery, right? Well, it was the intensity of the discovery that was important for me. Never had I felt so dependent.
Our Lord gives each individual a certain set of resources--abilities, intellects, finances, time, personality, etc. But no one gets them all. We are in need of doctors who have sacrificed much to excel in their fields--I couldn't do surgery. We are dependent upon inventors who came up with technology--I don't understand radiation, upon teachers who brought everyone to the place of learning and interest--I was busy at another desk, and the list goes on.
While I was contemplating this (recognizing that some of my desire to contribute big money is a healthy dose of gratitude) I realized that some of my desire to contribute was that faulty, prideful desire to believe that my destiny is in my hands--I can buy the medicines, I can cause the hospital to function, I can work my way out of this. The thought of being dependent upon people who I can't control or manipulate, the thought that God has to do all of this without me...
Dependent is what we are and it's a scary place to be. But because of God's mercies, it's not nearly so dangerous as I imagine.

Beautiful Day

2007-10-31T10:51:00.001-07:00

Biz went into surgery this morning at 8:30am with one more CT scan, much to the chagrin of Regence Blue Shield, I'm sure. Over the past week she's had a couple of surgeries designed to cut off the blood flow to the tumor, which has stopped about 70% of the blood flow. The other 30% is related to arteries that supply the eye, making blindness too great a risk, so they'll have to address this during the surgery itself.
Best case scenario we're looking at 5 hours, worst case they'll have to drop the upper jaw...about 8 hours or so. Our two doctors are exceedingly competent--Dr.'s Perkins and Moe (pray for them). If I was looking to doctors for my hope, I couldn't find much better. However, as we look to the Great Physician, Jesus, hope increases exponentially.
Some good friends, the Silversteins, bought Biz an iPod Touch (are kid's supposed to have better electronics than their parents?), which she said I could listen to during her surgery, as I am doing now (with frequent prayer breaks)--U2, Beautiful Day.

What's Next . . .

2007-10-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow (10/31) surgery is scheduled to start at 8:30 am. The goal is to remove the entire tumor. Surgery should take 4 hours if all goes well.

After talking to the doctor, here are some things that Debbie mentioned to be praying for:

-That they would be able to easily get to the edges of the tumor, and thus remove it entirely.
-That there would be no swelling in her eye.
-That they won't need to do a blood transfusion.
-That they won't need to shave her head.
-Right now Elizabeth is experiencing some numbness in her face. The doctor's have said that that usually goes away after a while . . . pray that that will be the case.

Right now Elizabeth is being amazingly brave and has been so encouraging to those around her. At a time when it would be so easy to be self-centered, she is thinking of others, wanting to see those around her come to Christ. She is also very encouraged by and thankful for the kindness and support she has been receiving from all around her.

Thank you for your prayers. I will keep you updated as I know more.

A brief timeline . . .

2007-10-30T17:17:00.000-07:00

I thought it would be a good idea to bring everyone up to date on what has happened so far. Here goes . . .

October 10th: Biopsy confirms that Elizabeth has a rare malignant tumor (esthesioneuroblastoma) on her face between her nose and her eye.

October 24th: Catscan shows that her neck and chest are clean - no cancer has spread to these areas.

October 26th: Doctors perform a procedure to embolize part of the area around the tumor. The procedure went very well, but the anesthesia and pain meds left Biz horribly sick.

October 30th: Second embolization performed, adequately embolizing the entire area. This time different anesthesia was used and Biz is now feeling great.

Welcome!

2007-10-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

With a desire to help Tim and Deb in their communication efforts, I have set up this blog. This will be the place to come, for anyone who wants current information on Elizabeth's progress. For now, I (Andrea) will be posting updates. At some point Tim and Debbie may join in as well. For now, PLEASE be in prayer for this dear family. We are resting in His sovereignty and confident that He will be glorified.

Please feel free to post comments for Elizabeth and her family. They will be reading them and will be encouraged more than you can imagine!