Back to Normal

Judging by the number of phone calls we've received for updates, this post is long overdue. So:
Deb and Biz got back to the island Wednesday, and Biz looks 200% better! She had a couple of bacterial infections, including staph, but the rash appears to have been a reaction to some ingredient in the moisturizer that she was using. The dermatologist at Children's Hospital said that it could take up to six weeks to subside and since Biz was not nauseous or feverish she may as well go home--with instructions to keep a close eye on things. Well, we have kept a close eye on things and the rash has faded fast, almost completely gone in just the past 3 days! I think she may be allergic to hospitals at this point.
I thank the Lord for the encouragement this has been. Our need for prayer has not lessened, however; it has just refocused. These events have taken their toll on us, while functioning as some of the greatest spiritual growth fertilizer possible. I can tell from my own short fuse and my lack of focus at my desk that I'm tired, so I need grace to respond with patience and diligence. We have also gained great insight into our children's and our family's strengths and weaknesses. Pray that we can best encourage growth in both.
We're glad to be back together in, what appears to be, normal life. But I've learned that normal is a matter of perspective and that sometimes "normal" is just habit and hinders us from seeing the things God would want us to see--about Him, about us, about life. Hebrews 12 reminds us that the "abnormal" confirms that we are God's children--Him at work to change us and help us see what He sees.

So close and yet...

The doctors have given Biz clearance to travel as far away as Mount Vernon where our friends, Anne and Taylor Long, live. They (the doctors, not Anne and Taylor) took some cultures yesterday and found that Biz has staph and some other bacteria, the name of which Deb could not recall. Since Biz's body is not yet responding to the antibiotics they don't want her, in the event of complications, being a ferry ride away from the mainland, or needing to be air lifted in the high wind season. The plan is to check her out and reevaluate the situation on Tuesday. Until then, Anne and her girls (a wild and crazy bunch) will offer some much needed fun and distraction.
The upside of all this is that Biz is not feeling "ill." The rash is unrelenting (and itchy) and has the doctors concerned to see improvement, but she is not nauseous or feverish. She's on a lot of medication at the moment, but we keep asking the Lord to use it all to her well-being.

Divine provision

Deb and Biz did, in fact, take me up on my encouragement to consider their clothing need a "providential opportunity," and, true to form, Deb called to tell me about the great deals and 75% off that she got at Eddie Bauer. Biz, too, was able to get a few things because the doctor gave her a "pass" that permitted her a few hours away from from the hospital. I thank the Lord for opportunities like that as they have a way of softening the harsh edges of medical treatment. I'm sure the girls had fun.
The dermatologist seems to know the source of the problem, apparently an allergic reaction to one of the creams she had used as a moisturizer. She hadn't used it in several days, but with her body in a more vulnerable state right now, the reaction was able to spread without much immediate response to the antibiotics. They are fairly confident that she just needs more time for the medication to do its thing.
1 Cor. 10:13 promises us that the Lord will never give us more than we can handle, but these circumstances remind me that I am not the determiner of how much that is. The Lord knows the limit and must at times take us to it. It also reminds me that it isn't a promise about how much we can handle in our own strength. Taking us to the limit is how the Lord gets us beyond self-reliance and on to dependence upon Him. As in all things, that is the goal.
We have no word yet about when Biz will be released; hopefully today but we have determined not to rush things. Our desire is to see her well and recovering--what's another day in comparison to that.

Evening Update

It doesn't look like the doctors will be releasing Biz for a day or two, until they can get a handle on the nature of the rash. She had an appointment with a dermatologist this afternoon, but I have not yet gotten word about its outcome.
One point of thanksgiving: Deb and Biz are in Seattle! They were entirely unprepared for an extended stay, but at least it feels more like home, and is many, many miles closer. Except for her frugality, Deb might have considered this a providential opportunity--hit the mall down the street and buy some new clothes! At least Biz gets a fresh and stylish hospital gown everyday; Deb has only the clothes she wore down there.
Another point of thanksgiving: Craig Denney, a missionary to Thailand that we support at our church, will be at our speaking for our worship service on Sunday! That sure helps when your thoughts are 100 miles away. Once again the Lord's timing is impeccable.

Morning Update

I just spoke with Biz a few minutes ago. I asked her how she was feeling and she said, "itchy." The IV appears to have had no effect last night. In fact, the rash has spread to her neck and stomach. I have no doubt the doctors will figure this out, but please keep praying to that end. Our conversation ended when the doctors came to take her away for CT and minor procedures.
Well, gotta get Lyd to school. Sometimes life makes big circles.

Another Night in the Hospital

Biz will be spending at least one more night in Children's Hospital.
At about 10:30am she and Deb took the ferry to the mainland and sped down to Seattle to meet with Dr. Perkins about unexpected swelling and a rash arising in the radiated area of her face. The rash has now spread to her hands. Dr. Perkins could not identify the cause with certainty, so they admitted Biz and put her on an IV antibiotic. Tomorrow they want to take another CT scan and do some minor O.R. procedures.
Biz is exceedingly disappointed. She (and we) expected her departure from Houston to begin a doctor/hospital reprieve. Please pray that her spirit will be buoyed up in the Lord. Pray, too, for the doctors to find out what they need to find, and for Biz to get the reprieve she's been longing for the past four months.

A trip to the ER

I'm not sure how many people will be reading the blog now that Deb and Biz have come home, but a brief update is needed today.
Biz arrived home with a noticeable "radiation sunburn" on the left side of her face. While this is typical and goes away, Biz's face, especially around her eye, has been becoming increasingly swollen, and in the last few days a rash has sprung up that is spreading to both sides. She is also experiencing a little blurring of her vision in her left eye--a first for Biz. Dr. Kornguth, the radiation oncologist at MD Anderson, said that by now we should be seeing marked improvement. Thus far it has only grown worse. So...
Deb and Biz are, at this moment, headed to the Emergency Room at UW/Children's Hospital at Dr. Perkins' recommendation. Please pray for Biz's health and healing.

P.S. for Bev L.: Why Rod Stewart?--because he's made a career of romantic love songs and my wife was coming home. It would have been more pastoral of me if I'd have said I had an urge to play the Bill Gaither Trio but, like that would ever happen! No one would have believed me.

Headed home 7

6:00pm
Time to go
Gotta get flowers, gotta get chocolate, gotta be there when they get in...
strange urge to play some Rod Stewart music

Headed home 6

4:00pm
House is looking pretty nice;
Went to buy flowers, but forgot my wallet...will try again
Lydia brought Lita home to help her clean; she NEEDS the help

Heard from Biz and Deb; they've landed at Seatac!
So close...they're waiting for a shuttle to Boeing;

Headed home 5

2:50 pm
floor mopped; boys room cleaned.
Gotta pick up Lydia.
girls 15 minutes from landing at Seatac

Headed home 4

1:55 pm
leak fixed;
girls nearing Wyoming

Headed home 3

1:40pm
Leak discovered under kitchen sink...great...
girls still over Colorado

Headed home 2

1:30pm
Kids schooled and fed and bathed (at least they can do the latter two themselves!);
rugs shaken, floors swept;
girls somewhere over Colorado.

Headed home

10:00am
Sheets cleaned, beds made; girls checking through airport security

We've altered the plans slightly. Rather than pick the girls up at the airport, we decided to fly them to the island from Seattle on a puddle jumper. With ferry lines and schedules, rush hour traffic, and basic travel time, this will save us (me, Lyd, and the boys) about 12 hours, plus it'll keep Lyd from missing a day of school. Deb and Biz will arrive on the island around 7:00pm, saving them about three hours. The biggest (unstated) advantage is the 9 hours extra it gives us to get everything in order (plus buy some flowers).

Two more days!

Lydia, Connor, Sam, and I are getting excited, and I'm sure Deb and Biz are getting itchy feet. After today's treatment (which may have already happened) there are just two cycles left: Wednesday and Thursday. I don't think they'll be disappointed to leave the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, though as Deb and Biz say goodbye, it will be with much gratitude in our hearts. The Lord has carried us, and especially Biz, through these days and he has used some great people and competent medical professionals in Houston along the way. Although this won't be "the end" of medical attention to address Biz's cancer and the side effects of her treatment, we have (Lord willing) jumped the major hurdle.
On Friday, the girls will say goodbye to the Pogues, and fly home. The Pogues' sacrifice on our behalf is well-noted, and our gratitude could not be greater--imagine having your life disrupted by a second family under your roof. I've always been told that fish and visitors stink after three days (a view which I find disconcertingly inhospitable...), but after two months anyone should be "sainted" or "knighted" or some similar thing.
Deb and Biz will touch down at 3:06pm. The kids and I will meet them at the airport and (imagine this) come straight home. We hope to bring them back to a warm, clean, comfortable home--the one they remember. There have been points over the last two months when Deb would not have recognized the place, but with a little attention over the next couple days we should pass muster. I know that Deb wouldn't care or complain, she'll just be glad to be home. But after all she's had on her plate for the last couple of months (along with an increased appreciation on my part for all that she does), I hope to make the transition an easy one. We'll call it the "Love Language" of house cleaning.
For Biz, the transition will be from "only child" to daughter with siblings. That's where life will become normal again--for all the kids--and thank God for normal.

She would dance if I asked her to dance (not that I would, the time isn't right for dancing yet:), but that should give you an idea what a better day yesturday turned out to be. I know she is still tired, but she's also seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. We go home a week from today.
We are so grateful to our hosts, John and Charlsie Pogue, who have been absolutely wonderful to us. Biz has enjoyed countless games of dominoes with John, and Charlsie has spoiled her with shopping trips and visits to Starbucks. They are both extremely caring people who overwhelmingly took us into their hearts and lives. We couldn't have asked for a better stay in Houston. We'll miss them. But we still look forward, with anticipation, to going home. Only seven days to go.

I thought I (Debbie) would be better at updating you on our last few days here in Houston since I am here with Biz. To all of you who have been praying, we are extremely grateful. Yesterday and today have been pain free for Biz. The night before last she was up in the middle of the night for 2 hours because the pain was so severe. We talked to the doctor today and he said that even though pain is a hard thing to predict, it could get worse, and it would be normal if it did. That was a bummer to hear, but I know that the Lord is not subject to "normal", so I am counting on your prayers for Him to do what would be abnormal and even supernatural on Biz's behalf. As I was running this morning I wondered how much pain he has kept her from already. I guess we'll find out when we get to heaven.

Although Biz did not have any pain today, we had a struggle of a different kind tonight. She had a major meltdown over wanting to go home. She has made occasional comments all along about missing friends and not being with her brothers and sister, but tonight she just kept crying, "Why can't we go home today?" For those of you who know me very well, I am not the best comforter. And for those of you who know Biz very well, she's not much of a crier. What a combo. I wasn't sure what to say. The thoughts going through my mind came out of my mouth, though maybe they shouldn't have. I answered her with the facts of how many more treatment sessions we have and how the doctors know what is best, so we can't go home yet. Of course I walked away feeling completely inadequate. Did I say the right thing? Should I have said nothing at all? I did pray with her, and hug her. But I sure would appreciate your prayers that I would be able to provide the comfort and encouragement she needs. We are counting down the days until we are back home on the island.

The Highs and the Lows and the Lord in both

Deb, Biz, and I had a few good days together in Houston before I left them on Friday to return to the island. Since then I've been in a melancholy funk. I don't want to use the word "depressed" because of its technical denotation, but I have been sad. One reason for my sadness is that in the last few days before my departure Biz began experiencing some of the difficulty of radiation. Nothing dramatic, just redness and swelling around her eye, but as the intensity of treatment increases with each successive cycle, all human assessment would conclude that it will become even more difficult for her. I don't want Biz to struggle through this. I have even prayed that the Lord would let me feel the struggle instead of Biz. Perhaps that's the reason for the sadness--part of the struggle. It may be important for Biz to struggle and through that find strength in Christ--the Lord knows best--but I'd ask you to pray for her comfort and peace in Christ.
Another reason for sadness is the toll that this process has taken on our family. When it's all said and done, normal family life will have been disrupted for four months. In many ways this has made us stronger, in some ways it has revealed weaknesses that lay hidden, and in a few ways it has weakened us. Satan is cunning and would love to use the latter two to our harm. But as I studied for yesterday's sermon I was reminded continually:

Isaiah 43:1-7
But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."

The Lord's children are precious and honored in his sight. It is clear from the surrounding context of this passage that this status is not a consequence of our merits or effort. Rather, it is because the Lord chose us and called each of us by name--not generically, as if a great call goes out to all mankind and we are free to choose him or not; but specifically, He chose certain ones for himself and his glory and establishes a relationship with them. He formed and created a distinct people for Himself, and He is even willing to sacrifice others for our rescue--even sacrificing His own Son. So our strength and perseverance is not assured by our desire, but by God's desire. We belong to the Lord, and He doesn't like others messing with his stuff. Like a tattered and dirty childhood doll, our value and protection is not the result of our inherent value, but of the value placed upon us and the love invested in us by our Owner.
There is also no abandonment in the fire and in the waters. Fire and waters are assured. The Lord does not say, "If..." He says "When..." But he says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you." We're never left alone on the journey. Christ says, "I chose you, and I take very good care of my stuff." So we're not going to lose. We just may need to learn to swim a little bit. Please pray for our faith and perseverance.
For those of you who may be forgetting what Biz looks like, I've pasted a few pictures. They're somewhat dated but you'll get the point. It's a great reminder of the blessing God has given us in our daughter, and of just how much more we'd be willing to endure for her sake.

Transition

Another transition week has come. Deb will arrive in Houston on Tuesday to take over duties here and I'll return on Friday to take over at home. Deb will then stay until the end, returning home, Lord-willing, on Feb. 2. What a great day that will be!
Everything in Houston appears to be going better than expected. Treatments go on as usual, and Biz has had little to no negative side-effects from her treatment. I am surprised, however, at how many times the computers that operate the proton generators shut down/crash. With the millions and millions (billions?) of dollars that go into such a facility, you'd think it'd be more seemless--I guess a computer is the weak link in most areas. When the computers go down here it doesn't usually take very long to get everything back on line, and I guess it gives the world's I.T. guys some job security, I just didn't expect it at what seems to be the apex of modern technology. One more reason to look forward to heaven--no need for computers!

Praises and prayer needs

Wouldn't you know it--I have a cousin in Texas! And he has four horses! We hadn't seen each other for 30 years and, until my dad called to tell me that Dana lives in Caldwell, TX, about 90 miles away, I had no idea (the Lord knows everything, however, even where to place cousins). So, with the mention of horses, it was a relatively easy task to convince Biz that we should go visit Dana and his family, which we did this past weekend. It was my first opportunity to see some of the beauty of the Texas countryside. Though it's nothing like the Northwest, it has a beauty of its own (which was undoubtedly accentuated by the saddle). Dana's son, Phil, is a student at Texas A&M in their computer progamming department so we also got to spend some time messing around with a Wii and playing (very poorly) Guitar Hero. It was a fun and relaxing weekend.
On Monday we had our weekly meeting with Dr. Kornguth. He checked Biz's eye, throat, etc.--those areas that are often affected by radiation--and said that her body is responding remarkably well. Biz has no sores, blisters, redness, or other tell-tale signs of the radiation. Your prayers on her behalf have been powerful and effective.
Please continue in prayer for the rest of our family, too. Here at just beyond the mid-way point, we're all longing for some normal life. We'd do it all over again if circumstances necessitated, but we'd appreciate your prayers for our perseverence.