The Highs and the Lows and the Lord in both

Deb, Biz, and I had a few good days together in Houston before I left them on Friday to return to the island. Since then I've been in a melancholy funk. I don't want to use the word "depressed" because of its technical denotation, but I have been sad. One reason for my sadness is that in the last few days before my departure Biz began experiencing some of the difficulty of radiation. Nothing dramatic, just redness and swelling around her eye, but as the intensity of treatment increases with each successive cycle, all human assessment would conclude that it will become even more difficult for her. I don't want Biz to struggle through this. I have even prayed that the Lord would let me feel the struggle instead of Biz. Perhaps that's the reason for the sadness--part of the struggle. It may be important for Biz to struggle and through that find strength in Christ--the Lord knows best--but I'd ask you to pray for her comfort and peace in Christ.
Another reason for sadness is the toll that this process has taken on our family. When it's all said and done, normal family life will have been disrupted for four months. In many ways this has made us stronger, in some ways it has revealed weaknesses that lay hidden, and in a few ways it has weakened us. Satan is cunning and would love to use the latter two to our harm. But as I studied for yesterday's sermon I was reminded continually:

Isaiah 43:1-7
But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
I will say to the north, 'Give them up!' and to the south, 'Do not hold them back.'
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the earth--everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made."

The Lord's children are precious and honored in his sight. It is clear from the surrounding context of this passage that this status is not a consequence of our merits or effort. Rather, it is because the Lord chose us and called each of us by name--not generically, as if a great call goes out to all mankind and we are free to choose him or not; but specifically, He chose certain ones for himself and his glory and establishes a relationship with them. He formed and created a distinct people for Himself, and He is even willing to sacrifice others for our rescue--even sacrificing His own Son. So our strength and perseverance is not assured by our desire, but by God's desire. We belong to the Lord, and He doesn't like others messing with his stuff. Like a tattered and dirty childhood doll, our value and protection is not the result of our inherent value, but of the value placed upon us and the love invested in us by our Owner.
There is also no abandonment in the fire and in the waters. Fire and waters are assured. The Lord does not say, "If..." He says "When..." But he says, "Do not be afraid, for I am with you." We're never left alone on the journey. Christ says, "I chose you, and I take very good care of my stuff." So we're not going to lose. We just may need to learn to swim a little bit. Please pray for our faith and perseverance.
For those of you who may be forgetting what Biz looks like, I've pasted a few pictures. They're somewhat dated but you'll get the point. It's a great reminder of the blessing God has given us in our daughter, and of just how much more we'd be willing to endure for her sake.