Dependent

Walking down the hallway of Children's Hospital I pass two displays--one with 384 names of people who have given substantial gifts and grants to the hospital, another with 330 names of people who have set up endowments for the hospital's on-going work. In fact, one whole wing of this place is named after Melinda Gates, for obvious reasons. In all of this I have seen God's mercies. Every name has been used by God to bless us, and especially Elizabeth. I found myself wishing that I could do the same for others, but the reality of my life circumstances is that I will never find a place on a notable donors list.
So I was thanking the Lord for these lists, for directing their hearts like a watercourse, and I learned a lesson: I am dependent upon Him to work through the resources of others. Big discovery, right? Well, it was the intensity of the discovery that was important for me. Never had I felt so dependent.
Our Lord gives each individual a certain set of resources--abilities, intellects, finances, time, personality, etc. But no one gets them all. We are in need of doctors who have sacrificed much to excel in their fields--I couldn't do surgery. We are dependent upon inventors who came up with technology--I don't understand radiation, upon teachers who brought everyone to the place of learning and interest--I was busy at another desk, and the list goes on.
While I was contemplating this (recognizing that some of my desire to contribute big money is a healthy dose of gratitude) I realized that some of my desire to contribute was that faulty, prideful desire to believe that my destiny is in my hands--I can buy the medicines, I can cause the hospital to function, I can work my way out of this. The thought of being dependent upon people who I can't control or manipulate, the thought that God has to do all of this without me...
Dependent is what we are and it's a scary place to be. But because of God's mercies, it's not nearly so dangerous as I imagine.