Grace Administered

Deb has finally let me pull the overnight shift. The rooms at Children's Hospital each have a fold out couch that will accommodate one parent, and since Biz can now handle restroom and other such functions on her own, Deb can break away for a sorely-needed, uninterrupted night of sleep. We've had a "home base" at the Silverstein's for much of this process, just 10 minutes from the hospital, and it's a very comfortable place for all of us (in every sense of the term). More importantly, Biz is sleeping. We've moved out of ICU into the surgery recovery area where, instead of waking you up every 2 hours, they stretch it out to every 4 hours. If she gets a good night of sleep and is strong enough to walk around tomorrow (Biz was the first patient her nurse had ever had walk out of ICU, but it was tiring) we'll be coming home. I don't even care which ferry we catch.
A couple of lighthearted moments enriched the day. The first...a friend of hers from Mt. Vernon went trick-or-treating for Biz and brought the candy to the hospital. Among the goodies was a gummy eyeball (actually about 10 or 15 of them--must have been this year's hot item). So Deb took one out to the doctor who was in charge of the ICU and said, "This fell out, should I just put it back in?" Biz thought that was hilarious and it produced the first rolling laughter I've heard from her for some time.
The second comic relief...The nurse brought in a capsule of antibiotic--the type with a plastic-like shell that dissolves in your stomach, like Contact. Biz had never seen one of these before, so she took the top off and some of the powder spilled on to her thumb and finger. Not wanting to short-change Biz on the dosage, Deb said, "Don't worry about it; just lick it off." What neither of them expected was that the medicine tasted SO BAD that it triggered her gag reflex and Biz almost threw up on the spot. She rinsed her mouth repeatedly, tried bread and other food, anything to remove the taste that continued to agitate the gag reflex, and it just wouldn't go away. In the meantime Deb had put the capsule back together and handed it to Biz, telling her she needed to take the rest. Only after a few moments of parent-child tension did we all realize that Biz thought Deb was telling her to take the top back off and swallow the powder down, which Biz was certain would just not work. We all rolled with laughter when we finally got it figured out.
I consider both of these events administrations of God's grace. When some humor is needed, God can create some very comic moments. When God's children endure hardships, God's grace enables them to persevere. Sometimes his grace grants physical deliverance from cancer, other times the deliverance is far greater. Always it gives strength in the battle--if we will rely upon him. I think I have begun to understand what Paul meant when he wrote that we should not "grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope." There is a choice involved in this and either God's children will or God's children won't. The strength doesn't come from trusting in doctors, or in diets--though the Lord often uses these in the healing process. It does not come by confessing happy words or trusting in our faith. It comes from knowing our God, who has all power and wisdom and love, and entrusting ourselves to him because we know that whatever the outcome it will be the most loving and wise, because he can make it turn out any way he chooses. Sometimes our world is way too big and our God is way too small. We never imagine that God's grace will provide the strength we need before we begin the fight, but our testimony is that, in answer to many prayers, the peace of God has guarded our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. His word is true. Sometimes God's grace provides rest and comfort in strange places. Sometimes it supplies our needs through the generosity of others. Always it transforms us. Always it is sufficient for the need at hand.